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A Grim Retreat (transcript)
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This is a transcript page for A Grim Retreat.


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(On Dragon's Edge, Meatlug is spitting up Gronckle Iron, Hookfang is heating the iron sheet, and Barf and Belch are hammering the iron sheet with their faces.)

Fishlegs: All right, Meatlug, there we go. Good girl.

Hey, you know what I just realized? This is a new record for Gronckle Iron production.

(Hugs Meatlug)

Who's a good iron-making machine? Yes, you are.

Snotlout: Whatever, If it weren't for Hookfang, that would just be a glob of useless barfed-up metal.

Tuffnut: Well, if it weren't for Barf and Belch ...

(Barf and Belch beat Gronckle Iron sheet with their faces)

Ruffnut: We rest our case.

Tuffnut: Uh-huh.

(Time passes and the dragons and their riders are getting very tired and everyone groans. Hiccup on Toothless and Astrid on Stormfly arrive.)

Fishlegs: Uh, Hiccup? I think Meatlug might be ready for a break. She's starting to loose her gag reflex.

Snotlout: Guess the perfect little machine isn't so perfect, after all.

Fishlegs: Have you checked your dragon? The giant oven doesn't look to perky, either.

Snotlout: Huh?

(Hookfang snorts and collapses from weariness, accidentally shooting flames at Barf and Belch, who get upset. A fight breaks out amongst the dragons. Stormfly's spines trap Ruffnut and Tuffnut upside down on a tree limb)

Tuffnut: Uh, What?

Hiccup: Really? You too,bud? All right, that's it! Dragons, to your corners!

Tuffnut: Hey, Hiccup. Did you know that upside-down you actually have a metal arm instead of a metal leg?

Hiccup: What is going on around here?

Astrid: Hiccup, we've been working really hard on these reinforcement walls. Everyone is just tired. Look at the dragons.

Snotlout: You know, Hookfang and I could really use a vacay.

Tuffnut: Vacation? Count us in. We'll grab our straw helmets and a chilling tale of Viking murder to read on some enchanted beach, laughing as the waves crash against us.

Hiccup: Guys, I get that you're all tired, but remember why we're doing this.

Snotlout: Oh, because you told us to.

Hiccup: No, because Viggo is out there. And when he finally realizes he can't use the Dragon Eye without the key, he's gonna come looking for it. We can't leave the edge unguarded again.

Ruffnut: So, yay or nay on the vacay?

Hiccup: Oh, Gods.

(Scene shifts to Hiccup's hut where he is drawing on a map)

Astrid: Working on you're map. huh?

Fishlegs: Need any help?

Hiccup: No thanks, I'm kind of -

Astrid: You sure? 'Cause, you know, Fishlegs is really great with maps.

Fishlegs: Really great. (chuckles nervously)

Hiccup: Okay, fine, out with it, you two. You didn't come all the way up here because you love cartography.

Astrid: We object.

Fishlegs: We think everyone could use a break. The dragons are really cranky from being overworked.

Hiccup: Guys, I thought we went over this.

Astrid: Just hear us out.

Fishlegs: As you know, we've been making Gronckle Iron. A lot of it. In doing so, we've exhausted the supply of sandstone on the Edge. And as you know, no sandstone, no Gronckle Iron.

Astrid: There's a nearby island that has a huge supply of it. It's also deserted, quiet, and would be a great place to relax, and take a little break from real work.

Hiccup: I don't really have a choice on this one, do I? Where is this island, exactly?

(Astrid points to an island on the map Hiccup was drawing on.)

(Scene shifts to Hiccup packing Toothless' saddle bags, and Stoick and Gobber have arrived on Dragon's Edge.)

Hiccup: All right. Viggo would most likely wait for low tide and try to penetrate the lower wall, then come up through the arena.

Stoick: Which is why you've secured it from the outside. Hiccup, Gobber and I have defended Berk from much worse than a bunch of namby-pamby Dragon Hunters.

Hiccup: I know, Dad, of course.

(Twins arrive on Barf and Belch with Chicken)

Gobber: Ugh, Someone die? You two look like you're going to a Viking funeral.

Tuffnut: And this is our vacation attire.

Hiccup: Uh, this is not a vacation.

Ruffnut: Call it what you will. But we plan to kick off our shoes and let the worries of the day melt away.

(Snotlout on Hookfang arrives)

Snotlout: Did someone die? Was it Fishlegs?

(Fishlegs arrives on Meatlug)

Fishlegs: No, its not Fishlegs. I'm right here and ready to go.

Snotlout: Go where? No one ever tells me anything. Hey, Chief. What are you doing here?

Stoick: I'm here to look after your base until you all return.

Snotlout: Return from where?

Tuffnut: You remember that vacation we were talking about?

Snotlout: Yes?

Tuffnut: Well, it's not that. We're not going to a deserted island paradise to have any fun whatsoever. Instead, we're going to work, slave away in the sandstone mines.

Snotlout: What?

Hiccup: All right, saddle up. We need to get there before dark.

Tuffnut: (hands Chicken to Gobber) Remember, Chicken eats six times a day. Small portions. She's trying to trim down. Then she gets "special time" before bed. You can read to her, tell her stories, massage her. But if you're reading stories, nothing too scary though. Horrible nightmares where she scratches and claws in the air. Stay about three feet away when she's sleeping.

Gobber: I got it, Tuffnut. I'll look after her as if she were one of my own.

Hiccup: All right, everyone. Let's do this.

(The Dragon Riders take off from Dragon's Edge.)

(Scene shifts to Dragon Riders on an island for vacation, with a lagoon with a freshwater pool in from of them.)

Snotlout: This place is insane! Look at that lagoon! Last one in is a rotten 2000-year-old egg.

(Snotlout jumps into a pool of water with a waterfall.)

Hiccup: Uh, all right, fine, just a quick swim, then it's back to work.

(The rest of the Dragon Riders and their dragons charge into the pool, except Hiccup and Toothless.)

Tuffnut: Whoo-hoo!

Ruffnut: Yeah!

Fishlegs: Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Cannon ball!

Snotlout: Oh no!

Hiccup: What's the matter, bud? Don't feel like a swim? (Toothless growls) Oh, okay, you just keep watch then. (runs and jumps into the pool) Whoo-hoo!

Fishlegs: (gets splashed) Watch the eyes!

(Scene changes to a little later in time, still at the lagoon)

Hiccup: Okay, guys. Got that out of our system. Now its time for the other kind of fun. Working.

Snotlout: Dude, lighten up. R-E-L-A-X. Relax.

Tuffnut: Take a load off, H.

Ruffnut: Those rocks aren't going anywhere. Unless you move them.

Hiccup: Oh, not you, too, Astrid. You're killing me.

Astrid: Hiccup, we're all behind you 100 percent.

Snotlout: (Suddenly knocks Fishlegs into the pool) Snotlout! (laughs)

Hiccup: Oh, that's nice.

Astrid: But you can't expect them to be you. They're your soldiers. And good soldiers will work until their hands are raw and until their backs are almost breaking. But there does come a point when they need time to regroup, to forget about being soldiers and just be people.

Hiccup: (sighs) you're right. I've been pushing them really hard.

Snotlout: Snotlout! Snotlout! Oy! Oy! Oy!

Hiccup: They deserve this.

(Scene shifts to the evening. The Dragon Riders and dragons are gathered around a camp fire. Ruffnut and Tuffnut emerge from the darkness with dishes of unsavory-looking fish.)

Tuffnut: Dinner is served.

Fishlegs: What is that smell?

Astrid: What is this?

Tuffnut: oh, Glad you asked, milady. That would be salt-encrusted sea bass with a salted seaweed gravy. Mixed in with salt and all finished with a little pinch of salt on top.

Hiccup: Whoa, that is salty.

Ruffnut: Too much you think?

(Toothless expresses disgust and Meatlug vomits)

Fishlegs: Oh, weird. The dragons usually love fish, no matter how bad it tastes.

Snotlout: Hookfang won't even touch it, and I've seen him eat piles of yak dung. I mean piles of fresh-out-of-the-

Astrid: Okay, we get it, Snotlout.

Tuffnut: Well, I chalk it up to underdeveloped palates. Both human and dragon.

(Both twins eat the salted sea bass, and make disgusted faces, but continue to choke it all down)

Tuffnut: Uh, I need to lay down.

Ruffnut: Me, too.

(The Dragon Riders and dragons settle down to sleep. Meatlug is furiously scratching behind her head.)

Fishlegs: It's okay, girl. It's sleep time. It's deep sleepy time. Meatlug.

(Scene shifts to later at night at the camp and everyone is sleeping. Fishlegs wakes up from a bad dream. Meatlug is gone.)

Fishlegs: Meatlug? Meaty? Where are you? Oh, no. It's not safe out there got a Gronckle alone in the wild.

(Fishlegs wanders into the bushes and forest. Unknowingly passes by Meatlug's chewed-off saddle)

Quiet and serene, my butt. Meatlug? Here, girl. It's Daddy. And I'm really scared, so it'd be great if you came out and ...

(Sees Meatlug hovering in the air, drooling glowing orange saliva)

It she sleepwalking? Oh, thank Thor. I'm here to take you ... home? (Meatlug snarls) All right! All right! All right! I knew she was too tired. But I pushed her. Bad Fishlegs. Bad! Okay, listen girl, I promise, no more work until you're ...

(Meatlug charges Fishlegs and fires lava ball at him. Fishlegs screams and runs away.)

You know, this is really Hiccup's fault, if you think about it. Shouldn't you be mad at him? Help! Somebody! Anybody! Whoa!

(Fishlegs hides in a stump and Meatlug passes by. He then runs back to camp. The other dragons are awake and scratching themselves)

Everybody, wake up!

Snotlout: Zip it, Fish-face. The sun's not even out.

(Meatlug arrives and confronts the other dragons)

Hiccup: What's going on with the dragons?

Fishlegs: No idea. All I know is that Meatlug was sleepwalking, and when I found her she was in a really bad mood and chased me through the forest and tried to kill me.

(The other dragons, except Toothless, start to drool colored glowing saliva.)

Hiccup: I don't think they're playing.

Astrid: Stormfly, no! (Stormfly shoots a blast at the Riders)

Ruffnut: This is all your fault, you know.

Tuffnut: My fault?

Ruffnut: Yeah. That stupid salty fish. They hate us because they went to bed hungry and now they're all cranky.

Tuffnut: That salt was properly pinched.

Ruffnut: You're brain is properly pinched.

Hiccup: No, its not the fish. Look at their saddles. They've been chewed off!

Fishlegs: It's a revolt. They're rising up against us!

Astrid: Why would they do that?

Snotlout: I don't know. Why would they?

Hiccup: You think this is my fault?

Okay, everyone split up. If we're together, we're vulnerable.

Tuffnut: Got it!

Astrid: Hiccup, come on!

Hiccup: It seems that Toothless is okay. We'll hold them off until you guys are clear. We'll find you.

(The Riders run into the forest, while Hiccup and Toothless holds off the other dragons.)

We better get out of here too, Bud.

(The other dragons continue to attack and Hiccup and Toothless fall into the lagoon. The dragons leave before they resurface.)

We better find the others before the dragons do.

(Scene shifts back to Dragon's Edge. Gobber is looking for Tuffnut's Chicken.)

Gobber: Chicken! Chicken! Here chicky, chicky. It's "special time." I've got a nice story to tell you about a sheep family and their igloo made of wool.

(Comes upon Skullcrusher napping)

Oh, hello, Skullcrusher. You haven't seen Chicken, have you?

(Skullcrusher burps up some small bones. Gobber gasps.)

Please tell me you didn't. you did. You ate Chicken. Stoick is going to lose his -

(Stoick walks up as Gobber gathers the bones)

Stoick: Gobber, are you bothering my dragon while he's eating?

(Gobber tries to hide the bones behind him)

Gobber: Yes, well, about that, Chief.

Stoick: Leave him be. He might try to take a bite out of you if he's feeling extra hungry.

Gobber: Wouldn't want that, now would we?

Stoick: No, we wouldn't.

(Gobber slinks off but drops a bone. Stoick sees it.)

Ah, Gobber, Come on. You ate the boy's pet? And of course, I have to break the news to the lad. Or do I?

(Scene shifts back to the island with Grimora. Hiccup and Toothless are looking for the other Riders)

Hiccup: Nothing. They must have really split up. See if you can pick up any sounds, Bud. (Toothless emits a sonic blast, but only detects the other dragons) Okay, those weren't the sounds we were looking for. I haven't seen them act like this since we trained them. They're hunting like wild dragons. And apparently they're still pretty good at it.

(Ruffnut steps out from behind a bush)

Ruffnut: No! Don't shoot!

Hiccup: Ruff, you okay?

Ruffnut: No, I'm not okay. I'm cracking under the pressure.

Hiccup: Ruff, you're fine. Have you seen any of the others?

Ruffnut: You said split up!

Hiccup: I know, but - (dragons snarling from above) Get down! (whispers) We need to find the rest of the Riders. Fast.

(Ruffnut jumps onto Toothless and they fly off)

(Scene shifts to Fishlegs and Tuffnut tip-toeing through the forest.)

Fishlegs: Meatlug! There's my Meatlug!

(Tuffnut pushes him to the ground out of sight.)

What are you doing?

Tuffnut: What are you doing? Trying to get us a one-way ticket to Valhalla?

Fishlegs: My dragon is still in there, Tuffnut. I can reason with her.

Tuffnut: Did you see the look in her eyes? That was the look of a killer. I know this because I see it in my own reflection. Pure killer.

(Scene shifts to Snotlout and Astrid in the forest in another location)

Snotlout: I never should've trusted that dragon. The way he looks at me sometimes, I know he thinks of me as a dinner, or a light lunch, at least. I should have picked a less ferocious dragon, like a Nadder.

Astrid: Snotlout, if you don't shut your piehole, I'm gonna leap out into the open and plead with them to eat us both.

Snotlout: Shh! I hear something. (Meatlug and Hookfang fly by)

Astrid: They're actually hunting us. How did it come to this?

Snotlout: Let's just hope Hiccup and Toothless get them before they get to us.

(Scene shifts to the clubhouse on Dragon's Edge. Gobber enters with another chicken.)

Gobber: All right, you're going to have to get used to Tuffnut's strange affection for you. He's going to squeeze you and hold you and talk to you and tell you ridiculous stories. But trust me, its better than what my chickens have in store for them. Now, let's go find some paint, so we can get you looking exactly right.

(Gobber leaves the clubhouse with his imposter chicken, and Stoick enters from another direction with another chicken)

Stoick: Here we go. Hopefully, Tuffnut will believe this is his chicken. What am I saying? I'm the Chief. I'll order him to believe it. (chicken clucks) Hey, I'm not proud of it, but that's the plan, so stick to it.

(Scene shifts back to the island the Riders are on. Its daytime now. Ruffnut, Hiccup, and Toothless are still looking for the other Riders. Fishlegs and Tuffnut run up)

Fishlegs: Hiccup! Run!

Hiccup: Why? What's the matter?

Fishlegs: Hookfang! He landed in the woods and he's coming this way!

Hiccup: Oh, he certainly is!

(Snotlout and Astrid come running up from another direction.)

Snotlout: Run!

Astrid: Barf and Belch are right behind us!

Hiccup: We played right into their hands.

Tuffnut: Technically, dragons don't have hands, so that expression doesn't - Maybe "We fell right into their talons"?

Hiccup: The point is, we're about to be ... (Barf and Belch and Hookfang jump from the bushes) ... surrounded.

(Meatlug arrives as well)

Hiccup: Other way!

(Stormfly blocks that path)

Astrid: Hiccup, how long are we gonna to wait until we make our next move?

Hiccup: What next move? I'm out of next moves.

(Toothless starts firing at the other dragons)

Hiccup: That way! (Dragon Riders run away) There! A cave!

(The Riders run into a cave and Toothless shots rocks down to seal the entrance.)

Fishlegs: Hiccup, that's not gonna hold for long. We need to find another way out of here.

(Toothless starts scratching in the background while the Riders are talking)

Hiccup: Just say it. I know what you're thinking.

Snotlout: All I'm saying is we wouldn't be in this position if your tyrannical behavior, due to your obsessive need to one-up Viggo, had not driven our poor dragons to the brink of insanity. There, I said it.

Tuffnut: Wow. That was both dramatically impressive and logically sound.

Snotlout: Thank you, Tuffy.

Hiccup: You all think this was my fault? (no one says anything and Astrid looks away) Okay, well, how about this? If the dragons have been driven to the brink of madness, as you say, why is Toothless completely unaffected?

Tuffnut: Great argument. That would be just as logically sound, if it weren't for one small thing. (points at Toothless who has started to salivate glowing purple spit and become aggressive)

Hiccup: Oh great. Look at me. It's me, it's Hiccup. Toothless, whatever's going on. we can get through this. (Toothless advances dangerously) Just talk to me. Toothless just relax.

Tuffnut: I am not going out this way.

(Starts flinging things at Toothless - helmet and things on his belt. The helmet hits him in the head and he gets sprinkled with salt. Toothless rolls over and appears to start seizing)

Hiccup: Whoa! What in the name of Thor was that?

Tuffnut: That. my friend, was salt. Just a pinch.

Everyone: Salt?

Tuffnut: Hey, I didn't see any of you stepping up. so I went with what I had. And what I had, was salt.

Snotlout: And you fed us that stuff.

(A painful high-pitched sound comes from the thrashing Toothless, but he isn't making the sound. Toothless shakes his head and three Grimora fling off to the floor)

Tuffnut: Did you see that? It jumped out of Toothless' skin. That was awesome. Quick! Put it on me! Put it on me!

Fishlegs: Of course. A Grimora. That's why the dragons were hunting us.

Snotlout: A Grim-what-a?

Fishlegs: A Grimora! It's a rare parasite that attach themselves to dragons and release a toxin that causes them to turn wild. But Grimora usually only live in fresh water.

Astrid: The lagoon. Our dragons must have picked them up when we went swimming.

Hiccup: They chewed off their saddles to get the Grimoras off of them. Not because they were rebelling. See? And you thought I was working them too hard. (Everyone, including Toothless, give Hiccup angry looks) Okay, you're right. I was working then too hard. Point taken.

Ruffnut: Okay, so all we need to do is find the rest of our dragons and throw salt on them.

Fishlegs: You know that could work.

Tuffnut: Sorry, gonna have to disagree with you there, Fishy. Out of salt. Used the last of it on T and then, you know, the salt-crusted sea bass, which, I might add, no one liked. Everybody likes salt now, but when it was on the sea bass ... Nuh-uh.

Hiccup: Well then, we're just gonna have to lead them to the next best salt location.

Snotlout: Lead them? They're trying to eat us. Did you forget that?

Hiccup: Nope, just don't let them catch you. (Hiccup mounts Toothless) Okay, Bud, Plasma Blast!

(Toothless blasts the cave entrance back open and everyone rushes out. The dragons are not immediately visible)

Snotlout: Oh, thank Thor, They're gone.

(All the Dragons sneak up and roar behind them)

Fishlegs: Meatlug!

Snotlout: Hookfang!

Hiccup: Remember the plan! You'll be fine as long as you remember ... (everyone runs off screaming and the dragons follow) ... the plan.

(Scene follows Fishlegs who is being chased by Meatlug)

Fishlegs: Please don't eat me. I love you! Oh Thor!

(Scene shifts to Astrid being chased by Stormfly. Astrid is running toward a beach.)

Astrid: Keep coming, Stormfly! (Jumps into the salt water) Come on in! Bath time. You love bath time. (Stormfly paces the beach).

(Scene shifts back to Fishlegs, who has arrived at another beach. He pulls out two large black rocks.)

Fishlegs: Pyrite. It's your favorite, girl. (Fishlegs flings the rocks into the sea.) Go get it!

(Meatlug jumps into the water and disappears. A moment later, several Grimora fly out of the water, followed by Meatlug who jumps on Fishlegs happily)

It worked! It actually works!

(Scene shifts back to Astrid and Stormfly on the beach)

Astrid: Come on, Stormfly. You love the water! All right. I hate to do this but you're not giving me much of a choice.

(Astrid rushes toward Stormfly and hits a spot under her jaw. Stormfly falls down unconscious, and the waves lap over her. A group of Grimora fly off of the dragon. Stormfly wakes up.)

Astrid: There's my girl. Don't worry. We won't tell anyone about your soft spot. We'll just keep that between you and me.

(Scene moves to Snotlout being stalked by Hookfang.)

Snotlout: Come on Hookfang! Remember all those great times we had burning places down together? You really want to throw that all away? (Hookfang fires a blast at him) Doesn't that mean anything to you?

(Snotlout runs off a cliff and falls into the sea, with Hookfang in hot pursuit. Grimora leave Hookfang, and he grabs a sinking Snotlout and flies out of the sea.)

Yes! 5000 pounds of raw dragon power back in action!

(Scene goes to the Twins, who just grabbed two buckets of sea water and run into the woods, followed by Barf and Belch.)

Tuffnut: Stop spilling the water, will ya?

Ruffnut: Stop yelling at me, will ya?

Tuffnut: I'm sorry! I yell when I'm terrified! You know that!

Ruffnut: I do know that, but it doesn't make it okay!

(The Twins dodge around themselves, causing Barf and Belch's two head to twist up and knock each other out. The Twins throw the sea water on them)

Tuffnut: Now!

(Grimora fly off of Barf and Belch and move to a small boulder.)

Tuffnut: See ya later, ya leeches!

(Hiccup flies in on Toothless and lands on the boulder.)

Hiccup: Good job, guys!

(Toothless sniffs the boulder and the Grimora jump on Toothless)

Hiccup: No, no, no, no! We gotta get you in the water. (Toothless bucks and flies and tries to get Hiccup off his back) Stay with me! No Toothless, the water! (Toothless flings Hiccup off his back, dangerously close to a cliff.) No Toothless!

(Toothless shoots a Plasma Blast at Hiccup, but he dodges behind Toothless. He then runs into him and pushes him off the cliff. Both go over into the sea. The other Riders are watching from the shore.)

Astrid: Come on. Come on.

(Moments pass and about 8-10 Grimora flee the water. A moment later, Hiccup on Toothless fly from the water.)

Astrid: Yes!

(Hiccup and Toothless land on the beach)

Hiccup: Welcome back, Bud.

(Scene changes to the Riders returning to the Stables on Dragon's Edge.)

Snotlout: Hookfang and I decided, no more vacation for us.

Astrid: I think a better plan would be when we need a break, we'll just stay a little closer to home.

Fishlegs: I'm all for that.

Hiccup: Actually, the best plan would be for me to lighten up a little on my Viggo obsession.

Snotlout: And tyrannical behavior. Don't forget that.

(Gobber enters the Stables with his imposter Chicken.)

Tuffnut: Hey Gobber, you decided to get one of your own? Can't blame ya.

Gobber: No, this is yours. This is "The Chicken", himself.

Tuffnut: Uh, no it's not.

(Stoick enters with his imposter chicken)

Stoick: He's right. The real Chicken is right here, isn't he? Just read him a story and everything.

Tuffnut: That's great, Chief, but nope, not my Chicken, either. Different chicken.

Stoick: Tuffnut, by order of the Chief of Berk, this is your Chicken!

(Tuffnut's Chicken walks up.)

Tuffnut: Hey, Chicken! Come here, Come here. Yes, that's it. You have a good time playing with Uncle Gobber? Of course you did. Come on, my one and only Chicken, I'll tell you a new story. It's got dragons and little slimy leechy things that turn them into killers. It's hard to believe it all happened, but it's a true story. You're gonna love it. (Walks off with Chicken)

(Stoick and Gobber toss aside their imposter chickens)

Gobber: Can't believe you tried to fake a chicken. You're the Chief for crying out loud.

Stoick: Me. Me? Yours didn't even look like a chicken, it looked like a rooster.

Gobber: I'm good at weapons. I'm not good at chickens.

(Scene fades out and goes to Credits)

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