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Animal House (transcript)

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Written below is a transcript of the Dragons: Riders of Berk television show episode Animal House.

Transcript

Hiccup (v.o.)
Here on Berk, we made peace with the dragons. We're finally living and working together...and it only took us three hundred years. There's one slight problem... we forgot to tell the animals.
Mulch
Oh, not again. You go on now... you get, get, shoo!
Mulch
Now you know you're not supposed to be in here.
Mulch
Alright, everybody, time to earn your keep.
Bucket
It's chickens who lay eggs, right?
Mulch
Do we really need to go over this again?
Bucket
No...
Mulch
Apparently we do. Well, pay attention Bucket.
Mulch
Wool. Eggs. Milk. Was that so hard now, see?
Mulch
Ugh. Observe. Just grab the utter, like so, and pull.
Mulch
Uh, pull.
Mulch
Pull!
Mulch
Uh-oh. I think we're empty. That's not good.
Hiccup
Yahoo!
Astrid
Ha-ha-ha!
Hiccup
Whoa! Hey, Astrid!
Astrid
Oops, did I do that?
Astrid
Hey! Not fair! AH!!
Astrid
So it's gonna be like that, huh?!
Hiccup
I have no idea what you're talking about!
Hiccup
Whoa! Hey!
Astrid
It was her idea. But I approve! Ha-ha!
Hiccup
Uh-oh!
Hiccup
His tail's frozen!
Hiccup
Astrid!
Astrid
HICCUP!!!
Astrid
Ah! Hold on!
Hiccup
No! Go back!
Hiccup
Astrid?
Astrid
Over here. Hiccup, I'm freezing.
Hiccup
Come here. Where are the dragons?
Hiccup
Toothless?
Astrid
Stormfly?
Hiccup
Whoa.
Astrid
Yeah...
Hiccup
I see daylight!
Astrid
We're gonna get out of here!
Hiccup
Look what they did.
Astrid
They saved our lives.
Hiccup
Uh, um...that was...so...
Hiccup
So, we're good now?
Astrid
G-good as new...
Hiccup
Ow!
Gobber (o.s.)
Ah, uh... there it is, mm-hmm!
Gobber
Just what I thought.
Gobber
She's not giving milk... none of them are.
Stoick
We know that, Gobber. We want to know why.
Gobber
This reminds me of the time I moved my mother in with my goat. She was mean, ornery, ate everything in sight. The goat was so sacred of her, she couldn't give milk.
Stoick
So, what are you saying, Gobber?
Gobber
Mothers and goats don't mix. Same with farm animals and dragons. We stopped fighting dragons, so now they're around all the time. The animals are spooked.
Gobber
Like I said, spooked.
Mulch
Uh-oh. Your bucket's not tightening up on ya, is it?
Bucket
No, I'm just... FIIIIIIINE!!!
Mulch
Well, whenever his bucket gets tight it means a storm is coming.
Bucket
No storm, everything's fine.
Mulch
Bucket...
Bucket
I don't want there to be a storm! If lighting strikes me bucket, I could end up less intelligent.
Mulch
Oh, ho-ho! That's one tight bucket! And the tighter the bucket, the bigger the storm.
Stoick
But that's crazy. Storms don't hit this early in the season.
Gobber
And besides, who ever heard of predicting the weather with a bucket? That's what chicken bones and goose feet are for.
Mulch
If you recall that bucket of his predicted the Blizzard of Orlaf/Olaf!
Bucket
That was a bad one! It took us a week just to dig Mildew out.
Mulch
And the rest of our lives to wonder why we bothered. Trust the bucket, Stoick.
Stoick
You trust the bucket. I want a second opinion.
Stoick
Gothi, I've come for your council. Is there going to be a storm?
Stoick
What's she saying, Gobber?
Gobber
She says: "What do you think?" Huh?
Stoick
How can you be so sure? Was it the chicken bones? Or the goose feet?
Gobber
She says she could hear Bucket's screaming from way up here.
Hiccup
...And then the dragons used their wings to block the snow.
Fishlegs
I've never heard of anything like that. Not even in the Book of Dragons.
Astrid
I know! It was incredible! It was as if their protective instincts just kicked in!
Hiccup
Who'd believe it? The dragons we fought for years came to our rescue.
Astrid
Yeah, if it weren't for them, we would've frozen to death.
Fishlegs
You know what? You could've used your own bodies to keep each other warm.
Astrid
Um...
Hiccup
Who would do that?
Astrid
That's crazy.
Snotlout
Hey, Astrid. If you're still cold...
Snotlout
Hey!
Tuffnut (o.s.)
Hey, Hiccup!
Tuffnut
Your father's looking for you.
Ruffnut
He looked angry.
Hiccup
He's looked angry since the day I was born. But I'm sure there's no connection.
Stoick
There's a bad storm comin'. We could be locked in. We might not be able to hunt or fish for months!
Hiccup
But it's way too early for a storm. We're in the middle of winter! Devastating Winter isn't due for another month!
Stoick
Not according to Gothi.
Hiccup
Well, what am I supposed to do? I can't control the weather!
Stoick
No... but you can control dragons. If they don't stop scaring the animals we won't have any provisions to live on.
Stoick
Ah! Any luck?
Mulch
Not a drop. And this is after yankin' on that poor yak for three hours!
Hiccup
But it's not like the dragons are trying to be scary. I mean, they don't even eat farm animals. They eat fish!
Gobber
True but they're huge, they breathe fire, and now that we've made peace with them, they're everywhere. The animals are terrified of them.
Stoick
Here's where you jump in and say 'I'll fix this'.
Hiccup
Okay. But how long do I have before the storm hits?
Mulch
About a week.
Hiccup
No problem. More than enough time.
Mulch
Correction: three days, six hours.
Hiccup
Uh, okay... less time... might be more of a problem.
Hiccup
Come on, big boy. You can do it. Come on.
Hiccup
You'll really like them if you get to know them.
Astrid
The dragons look scary but they're just big, scaly reptiles.
Tuffnut
Just like Snotlout.
Snotlout
You're the guy, right?
Tuffnut
[High-pitched voice] No.
Fishlegs
Okay, what if we look at this from an animal's perspective?
Fishlegs
Oh, hello, Mr. Dragon! I'm just a little sheep here... walking... doing sheep things... Baaa!
Fishlegs
Baaa! You know, he doesn't really seem so big and--
Fishlegs
Sorry! But I'm siding with the sheep on this one.
Hiccup
Look, I've learned that once you have a positive experience with something you're afraid of, it isn't so scary anymore.
Hiccup
Okay, here you go boys... over here. And that's what we'll have to do with these sheep. We gotta prove to them that they have nothing to fear--
Hiccup
Ooh-aaah-at this rate we'll never get any milk or eggs!
Stoick
Just as I feared. We haven't had time to fully stock the food store house!
Stoick
If this storm is as bad as I think it is, we're never going to survive!
Gobber
Not with this inventory.
Stoick
We're going to need everything we can get from those chickens and yaks.
Gobber
I'm not really comfortable putting my fate in the hands of a brainless bird and a big woolly beast that sleeps in its own dung.
Stoick
Well luckily our fate isn't in their hands. It's in my son's.
Hiccup
Another way for the animals to overcome their fear is to show them that dragons are afraid of things too.
Astrid
Remember Magnus the Merciless? He was a pretty scary guy. I was afraid of him until I learned that he was afraid of the dark.
Tuffnut
So during the day: merciless
Ruffnut
And during the night: Tuffnut!
Ruffnut
Ow!
Tuffnut
Hey! That's a real problem.
Astrid
I'm just saying, knowing he was afraid of something made him less scary to me.
Hiccup
Yes, So let's show the yaks that dragons are afraid of things, too.
Astrid
I think it's working!
Astrid
Don't worry.
Hiccup
Worry? I-I'm not worried! Do I look worried?
Stoick
Bring in everything you need! We down know how long we'll need to be hunkered down!
Stoick
How's Bucket doing?
Mulch
Look at him! He usually loves a wheelbarrow ride.
Stoick
Mulch, I'll take care of Bucket. You and Gobber go find the kids and bring them here.
Astrid
Hey! Calm down! Get back over here!
Hiccup
You know what I'm learning from all this? Chicken are really, well, chicken.
Fishlegs
What if we showed them how much they have in common with the Dragons? They both lay eggs right? A Terrible Terror laid one last week!
Hiccup
Alright, see? An egg's an egg, right ladies?
Hiccup
Until it explodes...
Gobber
Everybody out, the storm is here!
Hiccup
Ah, wha-wait! We haven't made any progress with the animals!
Gobber
Your father wants everyone in the Great Hall!
Hiccup
Take the others. I need to stay and keep working with the animals. They're... still afraid.
Gobber
Yeh can't get eggs from a frozen chicken! We've got to get the animals in the barn!
Gobber
So much for the barn.
Mulch
There's no other place to hold them!
Hiccup
The Great Hall!
Mulch
So, we're gonna have the dragons and the animals under the same roof? We know that won't work.
Hiccup
We have no choice, let's go.
Gobber
Alright, keep 'em separate!
Astrid
This way!
Fishlegs
Come on, come on! Let's go! Oh, this way guys!
Snotlout
Hey, I got this under control!
Snotlout
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooooh... ow! Okay, everything hurts.
Hiccup
Aww...
Gobber
Where are you going?!
Hiccup
I'm going after them!
Gobber
Forget it Hiccup! We'll never get them rounded up in this storm!
Hiccup
With Toothless, I can! I have to try. If I don't, we starve to death.
Gobber
No! Your father will kill me if I left you out here--!
Hiccup
Sorry, Gobber!
Gobber
Hiccup! Come back here! Astrid, will you talk some sense-- Ah--No, no, not you, too! Astrid! You're not going with-- Ach! GET BACK HERE, ALL OF YOU!
Stoick
Move those tables against the against the doors!
Gobber
Stoick! The barns been destroyed! The animals have scattered!
Stoick
Where's Hiccup and the others?
Gobber
I tried to stop him Stoick. They went after the animals.
Mulch
I caught these two. I figured at least with these we'd be able to start a new herd.
Gobber
You might want to take another look, Mulch.
Mulch
Oh! Uh, never mind boys!
Hiccup
You find as many as you can. We'll herd them back to the Great Hall.
Fishlegs
Can we swing by my house? I'd like to get my heavy coat.
Tuffnut
Check this out! I'm so cold I can't feel my face.
Tuffnut
Didn't feel it!
Ruffnut
That takes all the fun out of it!
Hiccup
They they are! Come on!
Fishlegs
Yaks to the left!
Snotlout
Chickens to the right!
Snotlout
Hey! I'm flying here!
Snotlout
Chickens! Over here! Follow me this way. Come on!
Snotlout
Wait. Where are you going? AHHHH!
Fishlegs
Sheep! Hey, sheep, this way! Baaahh! Baah! Baah! Hey, it's working! Baah! Baahh...
Astrid
I got them!
Astrid
Now!
Astrid
Gotcha!
Snotlout
DUUUHH! GAAAHHH!
Astrid
Snotlout, what are you doing?! You're all over the place!
Snotlout
YOU TRY HERDING CHICKENS WITH A DRAGON WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO YOU!
Astrid
Hiccup! Stray sheep!
Hiccup
Good job, bud.
Astrid
Hiccup, the storm is getting worse! I can't see anything!
Hiccup
Come on, bud. Give us some light. Stray yaks, twelve o'clock!
Tuffnut
I see them! AND THEY ARE HUGE!
Tuffnut
I got the yaks.
Stoick
Put me down! Right now!
Gobber
Do I look like a yak to you?!
Stoick
You shouldn't be out here, Hiccup.
Hiccup
Dad, I'm sorry I let you down.
Stoick
It's not your fault, son. I'm taking you back.
Gobber
Which way?
Stoick
Follow our tracks.
Gobber
So much for that idea.
Fishlegs
Sir? What do we do now?
Stoick
Everyone, come together.
Stoick
What are they doing?
Hiccup
They're protecting us.
Astrid
It's their natural instinct.
Stoick
Your dragons are really something, son.
Hiccup
Yeah, they are.
Mulch
They're back! And they're alright!
Bucket
The animals are alright, too!
Mulch
Uh-oh. Here come the dragons.
Mulch
Will you look at that.
Astrid
Hey everyone!
Hiccup
The chickens are laying eggs again!
Bucket
I was right. Chickens do lay eggs.
Hiccup (v.o.)
Winter in Berk is long and brutal, and the only way to survive it is if we're all in it together. We made our peace with the dragons when we saw that we could trust them. Turns out they actually have instincts to protect us. All of us. Life on Berk just got a little warmer.

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