This is the transcript page for Crushing It, complete with full dialogues and actions.


[animals hooting]


Tuffnut: Give it back. It's my blanket.

Snotlout: Ah! [grumbling]

Snotlout: Why do we have to be the ones to stay up on Rumblehorn watch?

Snotlout: Hookfang, I'm talking to you.


Snotlout: [sighs] We're never going to stop this crazy dragon from tearing this place up.

Snotlout: Aaah! Intruder alert!

Snotlout: Intruder alert!

[all shouting]

Snotlout: Ow, ow, ow!


Snotlout: That's the third time this week!


Snotlout: Ahhh!

Snotlout: Sweet relief. [shudders]

Hiccup: The Rumblehorn! It's headed for the Eastern beach.

Hiccup: Come on, you guys!

Hiccup: Finally. We got it!

Hiccup: Everybody stay back!

Tuffnut: I didn't think it would be so smelly.

Ruffnut: I didn't think it would be so hairy.

Gobber:You try shaving with a hook for an arm!

Tuffnut: The Rumblehorn talks! Quick, smack it.

Gobber: Cut me down, you simpleton!

Ruffnut: And it's got a bad attitude.

Gobber: Eh, never mind!

Tuffnut: Gobber, what did you do with our Rumblehorn?

Gobber: Rumblehorn? What's a Rumblehorn?

Fishlegs: A new dragon that's been trying to chase us off the island.

Astrid: Yeah, us and everything else.

Hiccup: We've been trying to catch it and relocate it.

Snotlout: Yet we caught you. Yay, us.

Gobber: You're trying to catch a dragon with a net that can't hold a one-legged, one-armed Viking?

Gobber: Amateurs.

Tuffnut: Not too late to club him still.

Tuffnut: I can give him a little "Ah! Uh!" You know, "uh, uh, uh!"

Hiccup: Yeah, we should just get back and check on the dragon base.

Gobber: Eh.

Gobber: Well, let's see what you've done with the place.

Gobber: It looks very, well...

Astrid: Trashed!

Gobber: Your words, not mine.

Hiccup: The Rumblehorn must have hit us while we were out chasing you.

Tuffnut: Last chance. I can still club him.

Tuffnut: Come on, club, club, club. Join the club.

Gobber: As much as I love a good clubbing, even my own, it will have to wait. You and I need to talk.

Gobber: I've come with disturbing news about your father.

Hiccup: Is he all right?

Gobber: Oh, he's fine.

Hiccup: That's a relief.

Gobber: But, then again, not so fine.

Hiccup: Gobber, you're killing me. Is my father okay or not?

Gobber: Oh, he's as fit as a dragon.

Gobber: Unfortunately, he's as ornery as one, too.

[Toothless growls]

Gobber: No offense.

Gobber: I've never seen him like this... angry, shouting at everyone.

Hiccup: Actually, that sounds like vintage Stoick the Vast to me.

Gobber: You think I would have sailed in a boat by myself for a week if it were "vintage" Stoick the Vast?

Gobber: He's driving the village crazy!

Hiccup: All right, I guess I'd better see what's going on with him.

Gobber: Good idea.

Hiccup: You want to ride back with me and Toothless?

Gobber: Actually, I think I might stay a while, help repair your wee dragon base.

Gobber: See if I can offer up some of my dragon-killing experience to help defend against that Rumblehorn.

Gobber: If there's time, I'll take Tuffnut up on that clubbing.

Tuffnut: It works with Ruffnut.

Hiccup: I get it.

Hiccup: So basically, you're hiding out from my father.

Gobber: One might look at it that way.

Hiccup: Well, bud, I guess we're off to Berk.

Hiccup: Hmm, it's quieter than usual.

Stoick: Shoddy workmanship! That's what this is!

Hiccup: Okay, follow the sound of the angry Viking.

Stoick: I said I wanted these weapons arranged by deadliness!

Stoick: Swords...

Hiccup: Ah!

Stoick: ...axes, bludgeons, then maces!

[sheep bleating]


Stoick: If I used them on you, you wouldn't forget how deadly they were!

Stoick: Gah! I can't believe it...

Sven: Hiccup, thank Thor you're here. You've got to help us.

Sven: Your father has become unbearable!

Hiccup: Well, to be fair, Sven, you did have the weapons out of order.

Sven: That's because yesterday he told me to arrange them by length!

Sven: The day before it was by pointiness!

Sven: the day before that, it was by name!

Sven: Did you know he gave each weapon its own nickname?

Hiccup: Well, I have to admit, that is really weird.

Hiccup: Uh, all right, I'll go talk to him.

Sven: I mean, seriously.

Sven: Who names their mace Daisy?

Astrid: These attacks are getting worse every time.

Astrid: Either that Rumblehorn's got to go, or we do.

Tuffnut: Hey, our boar pit survived! Cool!

Tuffnut: I like a pit, but I love a boar pit.

Gobber: You call that a boar pit? Ha!

Gobber: I've dug my way out of shallow graves deeper than that.

Fishlegs: Would you look at these Rumblehorn tracks?

Fishlegs: If you take into account the width and the depth of the footprints, and the distance between them, I calculate that this dragon is...

Gobber: Hefty. One might even say beefy.

Snotlout: Does somebody want to tell me why we're rebuilding this place?

Snotlout: He's just going to crash through and wreck it again.

Gobber: He wouldn't if you could build a defensive wall properly.

Gobber: Ahh!

Gobber: Well, don't just stand there.

Gobber: If you want to learn, follow me.

Snotlout: Eh.

Stoick: For Thor's sake, you plow like an old woman!

Stoick: Gah! [grumbling] Hag.

Stoick: This is how you plow!

Stoick: Oh, it's so simple! You can't even...

Hiccup: Hmm.

Hiccup: Ow, ow, ow! Ah. Gothi!

Hiccup: You know, personally, I don't know what he's talking about.

Hiccup: I... I love your plowing.

Hiccup: You are by far my favorite plower in all of Berk.

Hiccup: That... That's some good plowing, yeah.

Hiccup: Uh, yes, I... I agree. He is totally out of control.

Hiccup: Watch the language. He's still my father.

Hiccup: I'll talk to him, I promise.




Stoick: Ah...

Hiccup: Ahem.

Hiccup: Ah!

Hiccup: Dad, please don't kill me! It's your son!

Stoick: Hiccup!


Stoick: Ah!

Hiccup: Oh! Good to see you too, Dad. Now... Now if I could just, um, breathe?

Hiccup: Ah.

Stoick: Oh sorry!

Stoick: Just happy to see my son!

Hiccup: Well, that's great.

Hiccup: My... My cracked ribs and I are happy to see you, too.

Hiccup: What are you doing all the way out at the academy?

Stoick: Oh, well, I come up here for the peace and quiet.

Stoick: Tired of hearing people complaining...

Stoick: Stoick, you're being too tough. Stoick, you're being too picky.

Stock: Stoick, you're cutting off my air supply.

Hiccup: Hey, hey, is that Thornado's old saddle?

Hiccup: Wow, Dad, you really kept it shiny.

Stoick: Well, just because one dragon is gone doesn't mean I'm gonna let a valuable piece of equipment fall into disrepair.

Stoick: But enough about me. [grunts]

Stoick: What brings my world-traveler son back to Berk?

Hiccup: Well, we... We still...

Sven: Eh, Stoick, I don't mean to interrupt, but I've got those weapons arranged by deadliness, just like you wanted them.

Stoick: And who said I wanted them that way?

Stoick: Does anyone around here listen? Ahh!

Hiccup: Dad, Dad, Dad! I just had a great idea.

Stoick: If it involves me hurling an axe at Sven's head, let's hear it.

Sven: Oh, I... I hear my sheep calling.

Hiccup: I-I was thinking something a little more relaxing.

Hiccup: Something to take the edge off?

Stoick: Edge? What edge?

Stoick: Okay, I'm listening.

Hiccup: Yeah, so I was thinking, why don't you take a couple of days off, come with me to see the dragon base?

Stoick: No, impossible. There's far too much to do around here.

Hiccup: Okay, Dad. Well, tell you what, if I'm being honest, the reason I'm really here is that I've got a dragon problem back on the island.

Stoick: Dragon problem? What kind of a dragon problem?

Hiccup: Well, you see, we're trying to relocate a new species of dragon and I thought we could handle it, but we could really use your help.

Stoick: Well, I suppose I could spare a moment, if you really need me.

Hiccup: Oh, we do. We really, really do.

Astrid: I have to admit, that's one impressive wall.

Astrid: It should stop the Rumblehorn, at least from the ground.

Gobber: I'm going to call her Greta, after my first love.

Gobber: Large, sturdy. Beefy, some would say.

[distant growling]

Fishlegs: It's coming from the West!

Fishlegs: And it's getting closer!

[growling continues]

Astrid: Everybody, mount up!

Gobber: I'm not moving! The wall will hold.

[stone crumbling]

Gobber: Yah!

Gobber: [laughs] Told you my Greta would hold.

Gobber: Oh, Greta, how could you?


Astrid: Hurry up and move those logs!

Astrid: Gobber, are you all right?

Gobber: Good morning, Mommy. Is it time for dragon-killing school?

Snotlout: Hey, at least this wall held.

Snotlout: Of course, everything else got crushed.


Tuffnut: Incoming! Yeah!

Tuffnut: Fire, fire! Use all weapons! Start blasting!

Hiccup: Hey, it's us. Cut it out!

Tuffnut: Oh, okay. Sorry about that.

Tuffnut: [chuckles] Nice to see you, Chief.

Tuffnut: You're looking very fit.

Tuffnut: Your hands seem to be rough... and well-worked.

Tuffnut: Anyway, welcome to Rumblehorn hell.

Stoick: You weren't kidding about having dragon problems.

Hiccup: Is anybody hurt?

Astrid: Well, sort of.

Gobber: Hello, lovies. Who'd like some figgy pudding?

Stoick: What's wrong with him?

Tuffnut: Well, Chief, you can start with the peg leg.

Tuffnut: And then you add in the hook and the bad breath, weird neck. I mean, look at his neck.

Snotlout: He'll be fine. He got hit by a watchtower.

Gobber: [laughs] Ah, you're killing me.

Gobber: Who knew you were such a card? [laughs]

Astrid: Hiccup, these Rumblehorn attacks are getting out of hand.

Astrid: We have to do something.

Stoick: Okay, then, first things first. We start with...

Hiccup: Astrid, you search the Eastern coastline.

Hiccup: Ruff, Tuff, you have the West.

Hiccup: My father and I will take the middle of the island.

Hiccup: Fishlegs and Snotlout, you take care of Gobber and keep fixing the base.

Fishlegs: Got it.

Snotlout: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, dragon master.

Gobber: Hello, little fella.

Snotlout: How come I have to stay behind?


Gobber: I'm a dragon. Ya! Heh.

Hiccup: Okay, fine, you want to hunt the unstoppable, bloodthirsty dragon instead?

Snotlout: Bloodthirsty dragon, huh?

Gobber: Ooh, look at my tail.

Gobber: Do dragons chase their tails or do they breathe fire on them?

Gobber: I don't know.

Snotlout: On second thought, I don't want to give you guys an unfair advantage.

Snotlout: So I should probably stay behind and protect one of the archipelago's national treasures.

Gobber: The sun is a shiny potato covered in drawn butter.

Snotlout: And the moon is a scoop of ice cream.

Stoick Hmm.

[branches breaking]

Stoick: Ah, it's good to be back up in the air again.

Stoick: No wonder you never come back to visit.

Stoick: This highland is spectacular.

Hiccup: Thanks, Dad, but we're not gonna be able to keep any of it if we don't solve our Rumblehorn problem.

Stoick: Right. When exactly did you start having trouble with it?

Hiccup: A few weeks ago.

Hiccup: We didn't even know it was on the island.

Hiccup: And then suddenly it was everywhere.

Hiccup: First is just went after wild dragons, then it started coming after us.

Stoick: And how many dragons has it killed?

Hiccup: None yet. This dragon is more than strong.

Hiccup: It's fast, it's smart and it's elusive.

Hiccup: We've never even gotten a good look at it.

Stoick: This does seem like quite the challenge, doesn't it?

Hiccup: Yes, it does.

[Stoick laughs]

Stoick: Look at the two of us... two Viking men on the hunt, scheming to catch a wild beast.

Hiccup: See? You're cheering up already, right?

Stoick: Let's not get ahead of ourselves, son.

[dragons growling]

both: There!

Hiccup: You see what I mean? Every time, we just miss it.

Stoick: Well, we didn't see it fly away, so it has to be on foot.

Stoick: But which way?

Hiccup: Over here. Check the direction of the trees he took down.

Stoick: After you, son.

Stoick: Ho ho, this is great.

Hiccup: These footprints are fresh. We should be right on top of it.

Stoick: It's like the beast can sense us coming, and then it changes direction. A truly worthy adversary.


Hiccup: We have got to be getting close.

Stoick: Ah, I don't think so. We've been here before.

Stoick: Look at the broken branches on this side of the trail.

Stoick: The beast has doubled back on us.

Hiccup: Wait, you think it knows we're hunting it?

Stoick: No, I think it's hunting us.

Hiccup: Oh, that's good!

Hiccup: No, I prefer it much more the other way around.

Hiccup: What are you thinking, Dad?

[Stoick breaks branch]

Stock: I might have an idea on how we're going to catch this beast.

Stoick: ♪ Well, I've got my club and I've got my rope ♪ ♪ And I smell like a yak 'cause I don't use soap ♪ ♪ I'm a Viking through and through! ♪

[dragon growls]


Stoick: Well, you're magnificent!

Stoick: And you've got a lot to say, don't you? [roars]

Stoick: Now, let's see if you can back it up.

[war cry]

Hiccup: Dad! Get out of there!

Stoick: Not a chance!

Stoick: Oh, no, you don't!

Hiccup: Dad, let go of the rope!

Stoick: Ah!

Hiccup: Dad, don't let go of the rope!


Stoick: Ah!

Stoick: Oh, you want a piece of me on the way down, do you?!

Stoick: Come and get some!



[Stoick yells]

Stoick: Come on!

Hiccup: We'd better get back to Dragon's Edge for reinforcements.

Stoick: Agreed.

Stoick: This isn't over, Rumblehorn!


Stoick: Where's Gobber?

Gobber: Yoo-hoo!

Gobber: Come back, please. [laughs]

Snotlout: Boar pit?

Hiccup: Okay, Gobber accounted for.

Astrid: Hiccup, did you find the Rumblehorn?

Hiccup: More like he found us.

Stoick: [laughs] Gave us a good run, that one.

Hiccup: We're gonna resupply, and then we all need to go look for it.

Tuffnut: Eh, I bet I can find him, like right now.

Snotlout: Oh, really.

Tuffnut: Oh, yeah.

Snotlout: Oh, really?

Tuffnut: Yeah.

Snotlout: How's that?

Tuffnut: Wait for it.

Tuffnut: Bing!

Hiccup; What the... Ah!

Hiccup: Hey, everybody? On your dragons!

Hiccup: We need to draw him away from Dragon's Edge!

Hiccup: It tracked us all the way here!

Stoick: Impressive.

Hiccup: Dad, let's catch him first. Then we can admire him.


[all squealing]

[Stoick grunts]

Hiccup: Where are all the Night Terrors going?

Stoick: And why isn't the Rumblehorn following us?

Hiccup: Because it's following him.

Gobber: Mr. Boar, come back, please.

Gobber: I just want to have a friendly chat.


Hiccup: Let's get his attention, bud.


[all squealing]

Gobber: Aha ha!


Astrid: Stormfly, spine shot!

Ruffnut: Hyah!

StoicL For as powerful as that dragon is, he doesn't seem to have a real thirst for blood.

Hiccup: Not yet, but it's still going after Gobber.

Hiccup: I hate to do this, but it's the Rumblehorn or Gobber.

Hiccup: We may only get one shot at this, bud.

Hiccup: Let's make it count!

Stoick: This doesn't make any sense.

[all squealing]

Stoick: Unless... Hiccup, wait!

Hiccup: Dad, what are you doing?

Gobber: Not so fast, you.


[hoof beats approach]


Gobber: Oh, look, it's Pepe, my favorite pet yak.

Gobber: We didn't eat you on Snoggletog morning after all. No.

Stoick: If that dragon wanted to hurt people, he'd have done it by now.

Stoick: Something else is going on here.

Hiccup: Like what?

Stoick: Only one way to find out.

Stoick: Put me down next to him.

[Gobber speaking baby talk]


Gobber: Stoick, you remember Pepe?

Stoick: Yes, yes, Gobber. Pepe and I need to have a wee talk.

Gobber: Hiccup, have you met Pepe?

Hiccup: Oh, God.

[low growling]


Stoick: What is it you really want, dragon?

[low growling]

Stoick: I think this dragon is trying to tell us something.

[all grunting]

Fishlegs: What is happening, what is happening, what is happening?

Hiccup: I think you're right.

Stoick: Ah!

Hiccup: Dad!

Stoick: [grunts] Whoa, big fella! Hold on there!

Hiccup: Go get 'em, bud!

Stoick: Son, out there!

Hiccup: The sea level... is it rising?

Hiccup: There's a giant wave headed for us.

Hiccup: The Rumblehorn knew it and was trying to get us to leave.

Hiccup: He was trying to save us!

Hiccup: That explains why he was chasing Gobber.

Tuffnut: I'm not buying it. Okay, guys, real quick...

Tuffnut: How long does it take to learn to swim?

Hiccup: No one has to swim.

Hiccup: We just need to block the wave from hitting the camp.

Snotlout: Isn't it a little late for that, Hiccup?

Astrid: No! Gobber's rock wall... that's big enough to stop the wave.

Astrid: We just need to reinforce it.

Fishlegs: The wave's coming! Hurry!

Fishlegs: The wall's not going to be high enough to stop that wave!

Astrid: And it's cracking!

Stoick: You handle the cracks, son! I've got an idea.

Hiccup: You heard the man!

Astrid: On it!

Astrid: Stormfly, spine shot!

Fishlegs: Meatlug, spew!

[Hiccup gasps]

Stoick: All right, then, let's finish what you started.


Stoick: Full speed, big fella!

Fishlegs: I can't believe it, guys.

Fishlegs: If that Rumblehorn hadn't warned us, we would have been wiped out.

[Stoick laughs]

Fishlegs: Look at this guy. He is amazing.

Stoick: Yes! You can say that again, Fishlegs.

Fishlegs: You know, guys, this is a whole new class of dragon.

Fishlegs: We need a name.

Hiccup: Well, it tracked us down. How about Tracker Class?

Snotlout: Tracker Class? [laughs] Yeah, right!

Snotlout: That sounds like something I would come up with.

Hiccup: Perfect.

FIshlegs: Tracker Class it is.

Snotlout: What?! You like it?!

Snotlout: Aw, come on!

[Hiccup laughing]

Hiccup: Gobber, I sure am glad you're back to normal.

Gobber: Yeah, not sure what all went on, but I'm sore in places I didn't know I had.

Stoick: Well, son, I'm glad I let you insist I come here.

Hiccup: You know, Dad, when I first came back to Berk, I thought you might be missing me.

Hiccup: But it was Thornado all along.

Stoick: Aw, I do miss that magnificent beast.

Stoick: We had some connection, he and I.

Hiccup: Oh, I get it.

Hiccup: No, I can't imagine what it would be like without Toothless.

Stoick: Well, Thornado will never be replaced, but this guy... we're a lot alike, he and I.

Stock: We're both protectors, we're both leaders.

Gobber: And you're both hard-headed.

Stock: Hard-headed, you say? Skull-crushing's more like it.

Stoick: Wait, that's what we'll call you.

Stoick: Skull Crusher!


Stoick:And by the way, son?

Stoick: I do miss you. A lot, in fact.

Stoick: All right, big fella. Let's get back to Berk. I've got the perfect saddle waiting for you.

Hiccup: All right, guys, we have a lot of work to do.

Hiccup:So let's get to it.


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