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Dawn of the Dragon Racers (transcript)

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Dawn of the Dragon Racers (transcript)
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This is a transcript page for Dawn of the Dragon Racers.


Transcript

Hiccup: Pull!

Hiccup: Whoo-hoo! Nice! That's how we do it, bud! Whoa!

Snotlout: Snotlout wins!

Astrid: One out of two ain't bad, and for what it's worth, I always knew red was your color.

Hiccup: Aww, Astrid, thank you.

Astrid: I was talking to Toothless.

Tuffnut: Hey, what do you guys think of my face paint?

Astrid: Ah!

Hiccup: Whoa.

Tuffnut: What, too subtle?

Fishlegs: Yeah, just a bit.

Tuffnut: Yeah? Well at least I didn't paint my face to look like a target. A not-subtle target.

Fishlegs: I'll have you know that this is the official Ingerman family crest.

Tuffnut: Wow, two circles and a line. How creative.

Snotlout: Snotlout! Ah ha ha! I told you my Sheep Launcher would work.

Astrid: Yeah, it only took thirty-two tries to get it right.

Snotlout: Bull's-eye.

Snotlout: Twenty-nine!

Hiccup: That sheep is a maniac!

Snotlout: Thirty!

Astrid: That sheep is invincible!

Snotlout: Thirty-one!

Snotlout: Seventy-four!

Hiccup: That sheep is insane!

Tuffnut: Well, you know what they say. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few legs.

Hiccup: Uh, that's actually not the saying.

Ruffnut: It isn't? Then we need to send out some apologies.

Tuffnut: Yeah, we better start with Mom.

Snotlout: Clearly, my Sheep Launcher is ready for today's Dragon Race.

Astrid: Wait, wait, wait. Who says you get to decide?

Snotlout: I do. Snotlout invented the sport.

Hiccup: [chuckles] What? You invented Dragon Racing?

Snotlout: Duh! Dragon Racing, my idea.

Astrid: [scoffs] I think one of those flying sheep hit you in the head.

Snotlout: While that may be true, it doesn't change the fact that I came up with Dragon Racing.

Hiccup: That's really not how I remember it.

Snotlout: Oh, so now you're all about remembering things!

Hiccup: ...I don't even know how to answer that.

Astrid: I do. Let's think back, shall we? It was a few days before the big annual Regatta--

Snotlout: Uh, I know that.

Astrid: Just listen!

Snotlout: Okay. Okay. Ugh, someone didn't get her beauty sleep. (Ducks one of Stormfly's spines coming his direction) I'm all ears.

Astrid: As I was saying, we were getting ready for the big Regatta.

[flashback begins]

Viking 1: Incoming!

Viking 2: This is outrageous!

Hiccup: Ah, yes. Just another day in Berk. Uh, Gobber. So, what is going on here?

Gobber: Just a little bit of rogue wool. Nothing old Gobber can't handle.

Hiccup: Where did all these sheep come from?

Gobber: That would be Not-So-Silent Sven. Apparently the herd took a vote and they aren't too thrilled with the sound of his new voice.

Silent Sven: AAAHHH! You ungrateful sack of fur! Come back!

Hiccup: Yeah, I get that.

Gobber: Eh. Okay little lady, I may be big, but I'm fast on my feet!

Hiccup: Uh, Dad? Shouldn't you be getting ready for the big boat race?

Stoick: Yes, the Regatta, and this is the last thing I need. Why don't you gather up the Dragon Riders and get these sheep back in their pens now!

[Sven screams]

Stoick: If I have to hear that sound one more time, I'm going to put Gobber's hook through my own head!

Gobber: Done it! Wouldn't advise it.

Hiccup: We'll get this under control, Dad. Nothing to worry about.

Hiccup: Alright gang, you know the drill!

Fishlegs: Come on, girl. You got it! Whoa! Hey! That little guy was mine!

Astrid: And now he's mine.

Fishlegs: I know, girl. She's always so competitive.

Tuffnut: Two woolies in the tunnel. Let's gas 'em and blast 'em!

Ruffnut: Let's slap 'em and pass 'em!

Tuffnut: And never even ask 'em! All three of those things rhymed!

Snotlout: Ha-ha! Sheep in a barrel, baby!

Tuffnut: Hey!

Ruffnut: Come on!

Hiccup: Great job, bud. I see one more. Okay, barrel roll. Toothless, not so-- (Runs into the sheep with his head, with the sheep's tail end right in his face) Ah, I did not need to see that. (Shudders)

Snotlout: Heh. How many did you get?

Astrid: Three.

Snotlout: [Kicks a passing sheep to join the two he caught] Huh, me too.

Tuffnut: Aah!

Astrid: Ugh. What is that disgusting smell?

Tuffnut: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Ruffnut: Yeah. They like it. That's all that matters.

Tuffnut: Hey, sheep, no means no!

Astrid: So, we all got three.

Snotlout: Hah, not all of us. Get a load of Fishlug. Big fat yak egg.

Fishlegs: Oh, yeah? Show 'em girl. [Meatlug spits out two sheep, and vomits out a third]

Astrid: Well, I guess it's a tie.

Hiccup: What's a tie?

Snotlout: The sheep-catching competition.

Hiccup: Oh for-- Does it always have to be a competition?

Astrid, Snotlout, and the Twins: Yes!

Sven: Where is he?! Where is he?! Where is my prized black sheep?! He's still out there! I hope he didn't fall down the well again.

Hiccup: We'll check the well first, Sven.

Snotlout: You know what this means?

Astrid: Tie-breaker.

Hiccup: NOT A COMPETITION!

Tuffnut: This is awesome!

Snotlout: I will crush you all!

Tuffnut: Dark wool, dead ahead. Get it, get it, get it!

Tuffnut: Stupid baby yak!

Hiccup: Come on, bud, come on, bud. You got 'em.

Snotlout: Don't let him get in your head!

Gobber: Hey!

Hiccup: Gobber, LOOK OUT!

Gobber: Should have seen that one coming.

Gobber and Hiccup: AAAHHH!

Viking 3: This is outrageous!

Snotlout: Winning! Aw, Hiccup, I'll see you later! Ha, ha, ha!

Hiccup: Thank you so much, Gobber. What was so important?

Gobber: Now let me think.

Stoick: Hiccup, get over here!

Gobber: Ah, that's it. Chief wants to see you, says it's important.

Hiccup: [Sarcastic] Great.

Gobber: Don't mention it.

Stoick: Hiccup, I'm leaving town for a couple days on official business. I've managed to locate wood on Loki Island, that's lighter and stronger than anything we've ever seen. We're building our ship out of it. I'm leaving you in charge. You'll be acting chief while i'm gone. You're sole focus is...

Hiccup: [Deadpan] Oh, let me guess, the Regatta!

Stoick: Well, don't look so excited.

Hiccup: Oh, I'm excited. Oh, you know I love setting up stands and putting up banners, and getting everyone fired up to watch boats sail slooooowly across the harbor.

Stoick: Hiccup, we Vikings have always had something to fight about. Be it dragons, or Dagur, or Alvin. If we're not fighting something, we're fighting each other.

Stoick: I rest my case. Look, the Regatta's a good way to blow off steam.

Hiccup: That's sort of old. Couldn't we come up with something a bit more current?

Stoick: Hiccup it's a tradition, and it's worked for many, many a year, thank you very much.

Hiccup: Alright, Dad, I got it. We both do. Right, bud?

Stoick: Ha, ha, ha, that's my boy.

[As Hiccup waves goodbye, Fishlegs silently rises up behind him.]

Fishlegs: Wow.

Hiccup: Aah! Oh, Fishlegs, please, do you know how creepy that is?

Fishlegs: Sorry, Hiccup, I just couldn't help overhearing. You're in charge of the Regatta? Do you know what an honor that is? It's-- it's-- how do I find the words?

Hiccup: A boat race?

Fishlegs: Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup, that's like saying a Gronckle is just a dragon.

Hiccup: Aw, hey, Meatlug. Wait. What do you guys have going on over there?

Fishlegs: Whoa, not so fast. Top secret stuff under there. Meatlug and I have been working day and night to carry on the Ingerman family tradition. It's our first Regatta. I'm finally old enough. Isn't that exciting? Oh, girl, just hold me!

Hiccup: Oh, I can hardly contain myself.

Tuffnut: So here is how it works: The sheep are hidden everywhere. Which means you can't see them.

Astrid: Hence, the hidden part?

Tuffnut: Ooh, somebody has been paying attention. Alright. Wait where was I?

Ruffnut: The sheep.

Tuffnut: Of course. The sheep are hidden but we are not.

Snotlout: Not what?

Tuffnut: Not hidden. Uh, someone has not been paying attention. Anyway, grab as many sheep as you can. If two Riders get to one sheep at the same time, you can tear it in half. Half a sheep equals half a point.

Hiccup: Ah, gang I hate to be that guy, but, uh, no, there isn't gonna be any sheep-tearing in the near future.

Snotlout: Why not?

Hiccup: Because there isn't going to be any dragon sheep racing.

Snotlout: Hey, who made you Chief?

Astrid: Stoick.

Snotlout: So, who made Stoick Chief?

[Hiccup stares at him, annoyed.]

Snotlout: Just wondering.

Hiccup: Look guys, I've been given strict instructions to prepare for the Regatta.

Other Riders Aw.

Hiccup: Astrid, will you please back me up on this?

Astrid: Okay. Guys, you heard the Acting Chief, no dragon racing.

Hiccup: Thank you.

Snotlout: Snotlout! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Hiccup: Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Tuffnut: Yeah!

Astrid: Thank you very much!

Tuffnut: Hey, half that sheep is mine!

Ruffnut: Yeah, and half of that half is mine!

Astrid: Sorry!

Hiccup: Oh, really, Astrid? Where's the love for the Acting Chief?!

Viking 4: This is better than the Regatta.

Hiccup: Come on, everyone, just take a seat! Can you help me, bud?

Hiccup: Okay, I know you had a lot of fun today with the Dragon Academy doing exactly what they promised they would not do--

Tuffnut: I didn't make any promises. Did you?

Ruffnut: Not a one.

Hiccup: Alright, I know you all want to blow off steam but hey what could be better than a spirited Regatta. Ha, ha, ha.

Tuffnut: I tell you what's better, anything not named regatta. And how about a [chanting] Dragon Race!

Tuffnut and Ruffnut: Dragon Race!

Crowd: Dragon Race! Dragon Race! Dragon Race!

Snotlout: What's wrong, Hiccup? You afraid you and Toothless are no match for 5000 pounds of muscle?

Astrid: Wow. Sounds like Snotlout's calling someone out.

Hiccup: You're supposed to be on my side, Astrid.

Astrid: All I'm saying is, Stoick isn't going to be back for a few days and isn't this a great way to blow off steam, too?

Hiccup: The sheep start at Silent Sven's farm. The racers will be at the Academy. On the start, the sheep are released. Once caught, we drop them into baskets. Any other suggestions?

Snotlout: Teams.

Hiccup: What do you mean "Teams"?

Snotlout: We should have teams.

Hiccup: Really? And how do you propose we pick these teams?

Snotlout: We already did. Me and the Twins against you, Astrid, and Fishface.

Tuffnut: We even have a team name.

Ruffnut: Snotnuts.

Astrid: Wow, how did I not think of that first?

Tuffnut: I think that's pretty obvious, we're sort of the more creative element of the group.

Astrid: This is gonna be too easy.

Fishlegs: Sorry, Hiccup, can't do it. Can't afford to take one moment away from my preparation. And frankly I am surprised you would shirk your responsibilities as Acting Chief and give over to the wims of the masses.

Hiccup: What?! I'm not giving over to anything!

Astrid: Come on, Fishlegs. wouldn't you love to take out Snotlout and the twins? Or should I say Snotnuts?

Fishlegs: "Snotnuts"? How long did it take them to come up with that? As tempting as it is, Meatlug and I have one thing on our minds and one thing only, we are going sailing. Now if you excuse me, my first mate and I have some last minute preparations to do.

Hiccup: Huh.

Astrid: I don't know.

Hiccup: Alright gang, when Gothi drops that flag, we race.

Snotlout: Hey, losers?

Twins: What?

Tuffnut: Oh, sorry. Were you talking to us?

Snotlout: No, I was talking to the other team. You guys aren't the losers. You're part of me. I'm a winner.

Twins: Oh.

Ruffnut: Makes sense.

Astrid: If you guys race as well as you trash talk, you're in big trouble.

Tuffnut: Oh, yeah? Well, welcome to Loserville, and I'm the mayor. I'm going to give you the key to being a loser. Wait. Nah, that doesn't work.

Hiccup: Come on, Toothless. Alright buddy, here we go!

Tuffnut: Yes, white woollies! Zippleback, baby!

Astrid: Let's go, girl.

Snotlout: I'm not turning! I'm not turning!

Astrid: Well, neither am I!

Snotlout: Ahh!

Astrid: Knew it.

Tuffnut: Here, little sheepy sheepy. Don't worry, it's just your old buddy, Tuffnut. Yowch!

Hiccup: Gotcha. Thanks, Tuff!

Mulch: And the teams are all tied up!

Riders: BLACK SHEEP! TIE-BREAKER!

Tuffnut: There's the Black Sheep! Get it! Get it!

Hiccup: Whoa!

Tuffnut: Dark wool, dead ahead. I love dark wool.

Snotlout: Not backing off this time!

Astrid: That's what you always say, right before you back off!

Astrid: Snotlout!

Snotlout: Oh, no!

[Astrid and Snotlout collide]

Hiccup: Astrid, are you all right?

Astrid: My arm! I can't believe you!

Snotlout: Sorry. I'll go get Gothi, right after I drop this off. Yeah, ha ha ha, Snotlout!

[The Twins dragon knocks Snotlout off of Hookfang.]

Snotlout: Bull's-eye!

The crowd: Dragon Race! Dragon Race!

Hiccup: No, no, no guys the deal was one dragon race, and then back to the Regatta.

Snotlout: Okay, everyone, okay, okay. Hiccup is right.

Hiccup: What?

Snotlout: Let's all start getting ready for the awesome boat race. I mean, it's not like he could beat team Snotnuts anyway.

Astrid: Come on, Hiccup.

Hiccup: Astrid, there's no way you can race like that.

Snotlout: Sorry, folks, we can't have a rematch anyway. He doesn't even have a teammate.

Hiccup: Oh, yeah? Says who?

Astrid: You're not seriously thinking about...

Fishlegs: Hiccup, we've been over this. My allegiance is here. I'm a sailor through and through, there's nothing that can stop me from bringing home Regatta gold.

Fishlegs: Meatlug and I are going to make sailing history. Oh, no, are you seasick?

Fishlegs: What time is that Dragon Race again?

Snotlout: His new teammate is Fishlegs? Ha!

Tuffnut: You're so slow, that we won't even have to use your super secret plan.

Ruffnut: Exactly.

Tuffnut: What was the plan again?

Mulch: Racers, ready and..

Stoick: HICCUP!

(everyone gasps)

Hiccup: [Oh, Crap tone] Uh-oh.

Hiccup: Dad, wel-welcome back. Early. I can explain.

Stoick: I hope so, because these don't look like Regatta decorations to me.

Hiccup: So, Dad, you know being Acting Chief means that sometimes I have to make hard choices for the good of the people.

Stoick: Uh huh.

Hiccup: So I had to make one of said really hard choices and I chose to... [quickly] replace the Regatta with Dragon Racing.

Stoick: Oh, really? And you did this by yourself?

Hiccup: Huh, yep. Yep, just me.

Stoick: Totally contradicting my orders?

Hiccup: Yep, yep, again that would be yes, again.

Stoick: Well, well, well. I suppose there is only one thing left for me to do.

Hiccup: Oh, Thor...

Stoick: Run the Dragon Race!

Hiccup: Wait, what?

Stoick: You heard me. But if were gonna do it, we're gonna do it right. Now get everyone together. I have some ideas.

Hiccup: Face paint! Nice touch, Dad.

Stoick: Well, it does give a warrior feel doesn't it?

Tuffnut: Oh, yeah.

Stoick: Welcome to the first annual Berk Dragon Race!

Stoick: We have two teams. The green team, Team Snotnuts, and the red team, Team... Hicclegs?

Fishlegs: Mm-hm, I thought of that.

Stoick: Yes, Fishlegs, that's quite apparent. Alright, each sheep is worth one point except the Black Sheep, which is worth five. I've appointed a referee to make sure there's no funny business.

Tuffnut: Why does he always look directly at us when he says that?

Stoick: The winner of today's race will have there portrait hung in the Great Hall and a feast thrown in their honor.

Snotlout: Might as well call it the Feast of Snot. Snotfeast, a Feast of Snot.

Stoick: Are we ready?

Fishelegs: Keep going, girl! Hey!

Snotlout: Nice try, Fishy, this wool is mine! Snotlout!

Tuffnut: Hey, out of the way! Move!

Tuffnut: In your face, Hiccup, two sheep! I mean not in your face, but, you know that we got them. That's in your face.

Fishlegs: Uh, you were saying?

Astrid: Another score!

Gobber: Beats the heck out of the old boat race, doesn't it, Chief? Boat race was good, too.

Snotlout: One mutton to go with a side order of victory!

Hiccup: Sorry, Snotlout! You're kitchen is closed! Woo-hoo!

Ruffnut: You know, these aren't Sven's sheep.

Tuffnut: No one will know the difference.

Astrid: That's because you won't be using them.

Tuffnut: Come on! If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying, right? Ow-ow-owww!

Fishlegs: That's it, girl.

Hiccup: Fishlegs!

Fishlegs: Hey! Hiccup! Sweet!

Astrid: It's all tied up!

Stoick: Hicclegs and Snotnuts are dead even at twenty five points! Whoever catches the Black Sheep wins!

Tuffnut: That's a go on the super-secret plan.

Hiccup: We gotta find that Black Sheep!

Fishlegs: I have an idea! Something Silent Sven said. The Black Sheep always falls into...

Hiccup: The well!

Fishlegs: Exactly!

Hiccup: Let's go!

Fishlegs: That's it, steady girl. Steady.

Tuffnut: Incoming!

Ruffnut: Here we go!

Tuffnut: I'm here all week! Try the mutton!

Stoick: The winner is Team Snotnuts!

Snotlout: Snotlout, you are good! Woo-hoo! Yeah!

Hiccup: Well, Snotnuts, congratulations.

Snotlout: Hey, good game. In your one-legged dreams! Ha, ha, ha!

Hiccup: Oh, the leg thing. That's appropriate.

Snotlout: I've got three words for you: un-de-feated!

Hiccup: Boy, do I enjoy your company.

Fishlegs: Not so fast, Snotlout.

Tuffnut: Uh-oh.

Stoick: What's going on here? Sven?!

Sven: Oh, there's only one black sheep, Stoick.

Snotlout: And, it's ours.

Tuffnut: Yes, that's right, you're the real Black Sheep aren't you, little sheepy, little sheepy-weepy.

Snotlout: How could you?! I am ashamed. I am so sorry, everyone!

Tuffnut: This was supposed to be quick dry paint, right?

Astrid: We have a reversal folks! With the real Black Sheep, the winner is... TEAM HICCLEGS!

Stoick: You are officially relieved as Acting Chief.

Hiccup: Oh, thank Thor. Dad, it's all yours. Bud, let's get out of here before he changes his mind.

(flashback ends)

Hiccup: Huh, I guess technically it was Tuffnut who invented this sport, which is disturbing.

Tuffnut: Yeah, technically it was.

Astrid: That's, um, embarrassing. Well, at least you came up with most of the rules.

Snotlout: Well, this is depressing.

Hiccup: Look, we all played a part in it.

Snotlout: Really? What did I do?

Hiccup: The cheating, that was all you.

Snotlout: Yeah, yeah, I did cheat! No one can take that away from me!

Tuffnut: Actually, he had no idea what we were doing.

Ruffnut: Yeah, he wasn't even in on the super-secret plan.

Tuffnut: Stop your yammering! Put your back into it, woman.

Hiccup: How about we all invented Dragon Racing. Can we say that?

Tuffnut: Oh, sure. But it wouldn't be accurate, because Snotlout did nothing. No thing. Zippo. Goose egg. Yeah, I said it. It was like he wasn't...

Snotlout: I did however invent this. Ha ha. Snotlout!

Hiccup: That's right, bud. Race time!

Tuffnut: Hey, Target-face, this way!

Fishlegs: Ingerman family crest!

Astrid: Woo-hoo!

Snotlout: I may not have invented this game, but I'm gonna win it!

Hiccup: Not if we have anything to say about it! Toothless, let's take 'em down. Let's go, bud!


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