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Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (Franchise) / Film and Shorts Quotes

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This is the page for quotes by Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III in the films and shorts.

How to Train Your Dragon

"This is Berk. It's twelve days North of hopeless, and a few degrees South of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word, sturdy. It's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see most places have mice, or mosquitoes, we have . . . dragons."
"Most people would leave. Not us. We're vikings. We have stubbornness issues. My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that."
"That's Stoick the Vast, chief of the tribe. They say that when he was a baby, he popped a dragon's head clean off of its shoulders. Do I believe it? Yes, I do."
"Who, me? Nah, come on. I'm waaaay too muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all this."
"The meat head with attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber. I've been his apprentice ever since I was little. Well, littler."
"Ah, come on. Let me out, please? I need to make my mark!"
"Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon. My life will get infinitely better. I might even get a date."
"You sir, are playing a dangerous game. Keeping this much raw . . . Viking-ness . . . contained?! THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!"
"One day, I'll get out there. Because, killing a dragon is everything around here."
"A Nadder head is sure to get me at least noticed. Gronckles are tough. Taking down one of those would definitely get me a girlfriend. A Zippleback? Exotic. Two heads, twice the status. Then, there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire."
"No one has ever killed a Night Fury. That's why I'm going to be the first."
"Oh, I hit it! YES, I HIT IT! Did anybody see that?!"
"Well, between you and me, the village could do with a little less feeding, don't you think?"
"I really did hit one. He never listens. A-And when he does, it's always with this . . . disappointed scowl, like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich."
"'[Imitating Stoick] Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you've brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms! Extra guts and glory on the side! This here, this is a talking fish-bone!"
"'[sarcastically] Thank you for summing that up."
"I just wanna be one of you guys."
"Oh, the gods hate me. Some people lose their knife, or their mug. No, not me. I manage to lose an ENTIRE DRAGON?!"
"I'm gonna kill you, dragon. Then I-I'm gonna cut out your heart and take it to my father. I'm a Viking. I AM A VIKING!"
"I've decided I don't want to fight dragons."
"Oh, man! I should've gone first! 'Cause I was thinking, you know, we have a surplus of dragon-fighting Vikings, but do we have enough . . . Bread-making Vikings? Or small-home-repair Vikings?"
"I don't wanna fight dragons."
"You just gestured to all of me."
"This conversation is feeling very one-sided."
"And I'll be here . . . maybe."
"'[sarcastically] "Yeah, no kidding, right? Pain, love it."
"So, I guess it's just you and me, huh?"
"Toothless? I could've sworn you had . . . teeth."
"Everything we know about you guys is wrong."
"Uh, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm through with the lies. I've been making . . . outfits. So, you got me. It's time everyone knew. Drag me back. Go ahead. Here we go."
"OW! Why would you DO that?!"
"Da da-da, we're dead!"
"TOOTHLESS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! BAD DRAGON!"
"Toothless, what are you doing?! We need her to like us!"
"And now the spinning. Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile."
"No, no. Not yet. They'll kill Toothless. Astrid, we need to think this through, carefully."
"Astrid, if something goes wrong, just make sure they don't find Toothless."
"I'm not one of them."
"They're not what we think they are. We don't have to kill them."
"And we've killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, that's all!"
"Dad, no! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME!"
"Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods? It would've been better for everyone."
"Oh, for the love of . . . I was a coward. I was weak. I wouldn't kill a dragon!"
"Okay, WHATEVER! I WOULDN'T! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon!"
"I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him . . . and I saw myself."
"Hold, Toothless. NOW!!!"
"I'm . . . in my house. Uh, you're in my house! Does my Dad know you're in here?!"
"What, is it always going to be this way? 'Cause . . . [Astrid kisses him] . . . I could get used to it."
"This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots, we have . . . dragons!"

Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon

"Alright, Vikings. Grab your shields!"
"Hey, it could happen."
"Gobber, take off your pants!"
"GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!"
"'[after Gobber's pants fall down, revealing his gross underwear] Ugh. Well, that's gonna give me nightmares."

Gift of the Night Fury

"Well, good morning, Mr. Bossy."
"Thank you, Milady."
"Oh, Fishlegs, you hungry? You got enough fish there to feed a dragon!"
"I HAVE NO IDEA!!!"
"I think I just started the return migration."
"Bad dragon. Very bad dragon. You scared me to death! Don't ever stay away that long again, and what is in your mouth?"
"Buddy, thank you. You are amazing!"
"That year I gave my best friend a pretty great gift. But he gave me a better one!"

Book of Dragons

Dawn of the Dragon Racers

"That sheep is a maniac!"
"That sheep is insane!"
"Ah, yes. Just another, another day on Berk."
"I'm excited! Yeah, no, I love setting up stands, and putting up banners, and getting everyone fired up to watch boats sail sloooowly across the harbor."
"Oh, really Astrid? Where's the love for the Acting Chief?!"
"Huh, so I guess technically it was Tuffnut who invented this sport. Which is disturbing."
"Okay, how about we ALL invented Dragon Racing! Can we just sat that?"

How to Train Your Dragon 2

"This is Berk, the best-kept secret this side of, well, anywhere. Granted, it may not look like much, but this wet heap of rock packs more than a few surprises. Life here is amazing. Just not for the faint of heart. You see, where most folks enjoy hobbies like whittling or needlepoint, we Berkians prefer a little something we like to call . . . DRAGON RACING!"
"Now, dragons used to be a bit of a problem, but that was five years ago. Now they've all moved in! And really, why wouldn't they? We have custom stables, all-you-can-eat feeding stations, a full-service dragon wash, even top-of-the-line fire prevention, if I do say so, myself."
"Yep, Berk is pretty much perfect. All of my hard work has paid off. And it's a good thing too, because with Vikings on the backs of dragons, the world just got a whole lot bigger."
"What do you think, bud? You wanna give this another shot?" [Toothless gives an exasperated look.] "Toothless, it'll be fine!"
"This is amazing!" [about to glide-crash into a sea stack] "No longer amazing! TOOTHLESS"
"Oh, what? You want an apology? Is that why you're pouting, big baby-boo?"
"Well try this on! [hugs him, tries to wrestle with him] Oh, you feeling it yet? Huh? Picking up on all of my heartfelt remorse?"
"'[playing with Toothless] He's down! Oh, and it's ugly! Dragons and Vikings, enemies again! Locked in combat to the bitter—[Toothless pins Hiccup]—AAHHHhhhh . . ."
"'[After Toothless licks him] You KNOW that doesn't wash out!"

{{Quote|So, what should we name it?" [Toothless scratches his armpit] "Itchy Armpit it is."

"Afternoon, Milady. Where have you been?"
"I wake up, the sun is shining, Terrible Terrors are singing on the rooftop, I saunter down to breakfast thinking all is right in the world and I get [imitating Stoick] Son, we need to talk."
"First of all, I-I don't sound like that. What—Who is this character? And second, what is that thing you're doing with my shoulders?"
"Yeah, a truly flattering impersonation."
"Anyway, he goes: [imitating Stoick] You're the pride of Berk, son. And I couldn't be prouder!."
"'[To Astrid] When have I ever done that with my hands?"
"'[To Astrid] Just hold . . . still." [laughs] "Very serious."
"'[Imitating Stoick] You're all grown up. And since no chief could ask for a better successor, I've decided—"
"I'm not like you. You know exactly who you are, and you've always have. Me? I'm still looking. I'm not my father, and I've never met my mother, so . . . what does that make me?"
"Drago What-vist? Does anything you say make sense?"
"Dad, if Drago is coming for our dragons, we can't wait around for him to get here. Let's go find him and change his mind!"
"Look, I'm trying to protect our dragons, and stop a war! How is that irresponsible?!"
"Don't worry, bud. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise."
"HEY! YOU LEFT MY DRAGON BACK THERE! HE CAN'T FLY ON HIS OWN! HE'LL DROWN!"
"Who are you? The Dragon Thief? Uh, Drago Bludvist? Do you even understand what I'm saying?"
"Uh, Hold-hold on! Wait just a minute! Come back here! You can't just say something like that and run off! You're my MOTHER?! I mean what the—?! Do you—do you grasp how insane it sounds?! I have questions! Where have you been all this time?! What have you been doing?! Huh? They said you were dead! Everyone thinks you've been eaten by—!"
"This is where you've been for twenty years?"
"You've been rescuing them."
"I don't know. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around, to be frank. It's not everyday you find out your mother is some kind of . . . crazy, feral, vigilante dragon lady."
"[To Valka] Well, crazy thing is . . . I'm actually the one who shot him down. Hey, it's okay, though. He got me back! Right, bud? You couldn't save all of me, could you? You just had to make it even. So . . . [lifts his metal leg] peg leg!''"
"It's all well and good to call yourself a dragon, but can you fly?"
"That sounds . . . amazing!"
"Dad, there's something you need to know."
"YEAH BABY!"
"[To Eret] Welcome aboard, Dragon Rider!''"
"Well, now you know where I get my dramatic flair!" [About his mother]"
"Come on, Toothless! Show them what you got, bud!"
"'[To Toothless, after blowing up a Dragon trap] WHOO-HOO-HOO! ATTABOY!"
"All of this loss, and for what? To become unstoppable? To rule the world?"
"Dragons, they are kind, amazing creatures that can bring people together!"
"Or maybe you need dragons to conquer people. To control those who follow you, and to get rid of those who won't."
"'[To Toothless being controlled by Drago's Bewilderbeast] Uh, what did he just tell you?"
"Toothless, come on. What's the matter with you? No, no, no, no. Come on, what are you doing? Knock it off! Stop! Snap out of it! Toothless, no! TOOTHLESS! DON'T!! STOOOOP!!!"
"'[To Toothless, after he unwillingly killed Stoick] NO! Get away from him! Go on, get out of here! GET AWAY!"
"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm not the chief that you wanted me to be, and I'm not the peacekeeper I thought I was. I don't know . . ."
"I was so afraid of becoming my dad, mostly because I thought I never could. How do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless? I guess you could only try. A chief protects his own. We're going back."
"'[To Astrid] They're babies! They don't listen to anyone!"
"'[To Gobber] Well, it's a good thing that I never listen!"
"Get Toothless back, and kick Drago's—[approaching a giant piece of ice blocking their way] and that thing . . ."
"Toothless? Hey, it’s me, bud. It's me. It's me, I’m right here, bud. Come back to me. It wasn’t your fault, bud. They... made you do it. You would never hurt him, you would never hurt me! Please, you . . . are my best friend, bud . . . My best friend . . ."
"We can do this. You and me. As one."
"'[The Bewilderbeast's tail comes falling towards Hiccup] Not again. TOOTHLESS! IT'S NOW OR NEVER!"
"Now do you get it? This is what it is to earn a dragon's loyalty! Let this end, now!"
"The Alpha protects them all!"
"You never cease to amaze me, bud. Thank you."
"Still doing that one. That's hilarious. Come here, you. [kisses Astrid]'"
"This is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us, are relentless, and crazy. But those who stopped them, oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don't. Oh, sure, they have armies, and they have armadas. But we... we have... OUR DRAGONS!"

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