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Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon (transcript)
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This is a transcript page for Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon.


Transcript

Hoark
Fire!
Vikings
Get the Buckets! To the ocean! What happened?
Stoick
The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South!
Astrid
I'm on it!
Stoick
Gronckles, aim for the roof!
Fishlegs
Yeah!
Stoick
Good work, just a few hot spots left.
Hiccup
Where's Gobber? Is he still inside?
Stoick
No, we can't find him.
Gobber
I'm right here.
Gobber
That beast will pay for this!
Stoick
Gobber, what happened?
Gobber
What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire!
Ruffnut
What?
Gobber
You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones!
Hiccup
Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore.
Stoick
He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a--
Gobber
Boneknapper?!
Tuffnut
A what-knapper?
Gobber
A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton.
Fishlegs
The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It's awesome!
Stoick
Come on, it's just a myth. It doesn't even exist.
Gobber
I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire.
Viking
Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire.
Stoick
Still think it's the Boneknapper, or just your underpants?
Gobber
I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil.
Stoick
Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest.
Gobber
You rest, I'm putting an end to this.
Gobber
Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyways.
Phil
Baa.
Hiccup
We can't let him go by himself. Alright, Vikings! Grab your shields.
Teens
Yeah! Yes!
Snotlout
There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon.
Gobber
Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke!
Hiccup
How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh?
Snotlout
Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed.
Gobber
I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper. True Vikings, you are.
Ruffnut
Gobber, are we there yet?
Fishlegs
Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!
Gobber
Not so, Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer.
Ruffnut
Wait, so if we don't hear anything... we're dead?
Tuffnut
I don't hear anything.
Phil
Baa!
Teens
AAAHHH!!
Gobber
Good one, Phil. Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper?
Gobber (v.o.)
I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature.
Teen Gobber
Dad, pull the boat over!
Gobber's Father
Didn't I tell ya to go before we left?
Gobber (v.o.)
I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest...I had to have it.
Gobber (v.o.)
I reached in a pulled out the chest...
Gobber (v.o.)
It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
Gobber (v.o.)
But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face!
Teen Gobber
Oh, my tooth!
Gobber (v.o.)
And there it was...I never even heard it coming...The Boneknapper!
Gobber (v.o.)
It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings!
Teen Gobber
The treasure!
Gobber (v.o.)
I reached into the water...
Gobber (v.o.)
Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again!
Teen Gobber
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Gobber (v.o.)
The Boneknapper wanted that treasure...but I wanted it more!
Gobber's Father
What took you so long?
Snotlout
You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?
Gobber
Yeah, twice.
Hiccup
Hey, it could happen.
Gobber
What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast.
Fishlegs
Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but...Boneknappers are not silent.
Gobber
Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it...
Fishlegs
Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be...?
Gobber
I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything...
Fishlegs
I really think we're gonna hit these...
Gobber
...I could taste the oncoming doom!
Tuffnut
Whoa...
Astrid
Um, I'm tasting rocks.
Gobber
Ah, we're here.
Ruffnut
Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are!
Fishlegs
Except the Boneknapper. Legend says...
Snotlout
Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking!
Fishlegs
Okay, just hold on one darn second...
Gobber
No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times!
Hiccup
Oh, well that's...comforting.
Gobber
You never forget your first shipwreck...
Gobber (v.o.)
I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure.
Gobber (v.o.)
There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks!
Gobber (v.o.)
I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters.
Gobber
Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty!
Gobber
Someone forgot to brush!
Gobber (v.o.)
I didn't think I was going to make it.
Gobber (v.o.)
But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth...a giant hammerhead whale!
Fishlegs
Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?
Gobber
Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle.
Gobber (v.o.)
All I had was my trusty egg beater.
Gobber (v.o.)
I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind!
Gobber
Ah, azaleas!
Gobber (v.o.)
I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater.
Gobber (v.o.)
Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak!
Tuffnut
Okay, wait a minute. Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper?
Gobber
You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me...
Gobber (v.o.)
So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast.
Gobber (v.o.)
And when he was ready... he charged!
Gobber (v.o.)
And then I ran like the wind!
Gobber (v.o.)
But the traps failed!
Gobber (v.o.)
Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do...
Gobber
Help!
Gobber (v.o.)
The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor!
Gobber (v.o.)
He tossed a mighty thunderbolt.
Gobber
Aw, you missed.
Thor
Wait for it...
Gobber (v.o.)
Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth...
Gobber (v.o.)
The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale!
Hamerhead Yak
Deploy the yak.
Gobber
Yes!
Gobber
Oh, my back!
Fishlegs
Whoa... the whale saluted you?
Gobber
Can you believe it? But the Boneknapper got away again! He found me on Berk--
Snotlout
Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this.
Tuffnut
Yeah, you totally made everything up!
Ruffnut
Come on, Gobber, it's time to get out of here!
Snotlout
We need to get home!
Tuffnut
You don't even have any proof that that thing exists!
Gobber
Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle.
Gobber
It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years.
Fishlegs
It is stunning.
Hiccup
Um...listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home?
Gobber
Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait?
Fishlegs
Um, Gobber, are you sure this is safe?
Gobber
Safety's overrated. Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in a finish him off once and for all!
Snotlout
It's sad when they get old.
Hiccup
Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the Boneknapper!
Gobber
Wormsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine!
Hiccup
No wonder they entire village think you're crazy.
Snotlout
Hello? He sees dead Vikings!
Tuffnut
Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak...
Fishlegs
Um, guys...?
Astrid
This is a complete waste of time.
Fishlegs
Guys, hello?! Turn around! Guys! GUYS!!
Everyone
WHAT?!
Hiccup
It's right behind us isn't it?
Fishlegs
Well, what do you know? No roar.
Gobber
RUN!
Astrid
Okay, Gobber, we believe you!
Gobber
Phil!
Snotlout
Find a happy place, find a happy place...
Fishlegs
No, no, no, please...please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head!
Gobber
Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you!
Hiccup
Wait. It searches for the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants!
Gobber
Huh?
Others
NO!
Hiccup
Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle.
Astrid
Gobber, please, you have to give it back.
Gobber
No way, it's mine. Uh-oh.
Hiccup
Give him back his bone!
Gobber
NOOO!
Hiccup
GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!
Gobber
NOOOOO!
Gobber
Noooo... oh, alright.
Hiccup
Gobber!
Gobber
Alright, you've got me. Make it fast.
Hiccup
That's gonna give me nightmares.
Astrid
Well, at least we have a ride home.
Gobber
Aren't you cute? Yes, you are. Yes, you are!
Snotlout
You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right."
Tuffnut
His tailbone is hurting my tailbone!
Hiccup
He sure seems happy to have that bone back.
Fishlegs
Well, legend says that Boneknapper's roar is its mating call.
Gobber
Oh, that's just a myth.
Gobber
Uh-oh!
Phil
Baa!
Gobber
I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?


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