This is the transcript for the episode Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
Fishlegs: Trader Johann's here, everybody, Trader Johann's here!
Snotlout: Yohan Shmohan, that guy never lets me touch any of his cool stuff.
Hiccup: Well that's because last time he was here, you broke half of it!
Snotlout: [gasps] It's my word against his.
Trader Johann: I'm back! Ah, Berk! The crown jewel of the entire Archipelago!
Fishlegs: Over here Trader Johann!
[Trader Johann laughs]
Fishlegs: Oooo, what did you bring today?
Trader Johann: First things, Mr. Fishlegs, treasures from every coast and every shore, like the pearls of danger.
Trader Johann: Perfect for that special lady in your life...
Snotlout: You know, those could be yours, Astrid, just say the word...
Snotlout: That's not the word!
Gobber: Hmm, nope!
Trader Johann: Ah, Mr. Gobber, what could I interest you in?
Gobber: Why don't you wow me Johann, knock me off my feet.
Trader Johann: Put me to the test, I uh, [chuckles] okay.
Gobber: Hang on... [walks over to a corner]
Gobber: What's under here?
Trader Johann: Oh, nothing too exciting, just an old pile of...
Gobber: Scrap metal! It's perfect! I've run out of things to pound around here!
Tuffnut: Woah, It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
Astrid: It's just scrap metal.
Tuffnut: No, I'm talking about this mace!
[Tuffnut runs to the mace and picks it up.]
Tuffnut: Woah, hey mace. You wanna come home with me, don't you? [in a high voice:] Yes I do, Tuffnut, I wanna needlessly destroy other people's property with you! [regular voice again:] Oh Macey, you get me!
Trader Johann: [to Gobber:] I see you are a gentleman that recognizes quality when he sees it. This is the finest metal from the farthest reaches of the archipelago.
Gobber: I'll take it all.
Trader Johann: Excellent, always a pleasure, Mr. Gobber.
[They hear a crash and all look at Snotlout.]
Trader Johann: Huh?
[Plate drops to the deck and breaks.]
Snotlout: Wasn't me!
Trader Johann: I really hate that kid.
Gobber: Uh, Hiccup, do you think you can spare a hook, son?
Hiccup: Not a problem, Gobber.
[Hiccup looks at the teens ]
Hiccup: Hey guys!
Tuffnut: Lets do this, Macey!
[ Gobber lifts Snotlout off his dragon]
Gobber: Not so fast, you, I paid good money for this scrap, I'll not have you dropping it into the ocean!
Woman: I got those ladles when I went to sleep and now they're gone!
Man: All my grandmother's goblets, GONE!
Hiccup: Okay, what did we just walk into?
Man 2: All my favorite milk jugs, gone!
Hiccup: What is going on here?
Snotlout: A bunch of stuff got stolen from the village last night.
Astrid: And some of us are taking it pretty hard.
Tuffnut: [Crying] Macey, MACEY, Oh golly she's gone. NOOOOOO!!!!
[Tuffnut points at Ruffnut]
Tuffnut: You, you were always jealous of her. You knew I loved her more because I told you every so often and I wrote it in your room on the wall!
Stoick: We have quite a situation on our hands, axes, shields, helmets, drinking goblets, all stolen.
Hiccup: Axes, shields, helmets, drinking goblets. What do all these things have in common?
Snotlout: Obviously, duh, they're all gone.
Hiccup: No, they're metal, everything that's missing is metal.
Astrid: Hiccup, everything we own is metal.
Hiccup: It's a theory, work with me.
Tuffnut: I miss the little spikes around your head... [Cries]
Stoick: Whatever's going on, I need to find who is responsible before this panic gets any worse.
Gobber: Bucket and Mulch are slapping each other with sturgeons.
Stoick: What happened to their bludgeons?
Gobber: Stolen, It's the sturgeon
Stoick: In someways It's probably better.
Hiccup: Uh Dad, what do you say you take care of this sturgeon slapping while Astrid and I do a little investigating.
Astrid: Investigating? What exactly are you planning, Hiccup?
Hiccup: To return to the scenes of crime and see if we can find out something about this metal theif.
Tuffnut: [Cries] I miss her! [continues to cry] She had such a weird voice!
Hiccup: Gobber, can you remember who has been here the last couple of days?
Gobber: Hmm, hard to say. Business has been booming. There's only 41 shopping days left till Snoggletog, you know. Don't wait until the last minute.
Hiccup: No footprints...
Gobber: This metal thief won't get the best of me, I've set booby traps that are guaranteed to nab it.
Astrid: What's the matter?
Gobber: It would appear that I've trapped myself in my own booby, No one... move... a muscle...
Tuffnut: This is where Macey was before her disappearance, quote, unquote.
Ruffnut: I didn't take your stupid mace!
Tuffnut: It was her favorite spot. She just loved watching the sunset, or this wall, depending on which side I left her on.
Astrid: This is weird.
Hiccup: Yeah, even for the twins.
Ruffnut: Hey, leave me out of this one!
Hiccup: Strange, no forced entry, not a single footprint...
Astrid: And no eye witnesses...
Ruffnut: Huh, and you call yourselves detectives?
Hiccup: Uh, first of all, no, we don't call ourselves detectives, and second, what's so obvious?
Ruffnut: What you're looking for, is not just a metal thief, It's a ghost metal thief. Uh huh!
Hiccup: Well, that was helpful, as usual.
Astrid: It's getting late. We'll start again in the morning.
Hiccup: Uhh, huh? Toothless, Toothless, what the, TOOTHLESS!!!
Hiccup: Are they... Smokebreaths?
Hiccup: Hey, you get your hands off that! Well, bud, It looks like we found our thief.
Fishlegs: The thief hit you guys too, huh?
Snotlout: I feel naked without my helmet.
Tuffnut: Me too. But I made a sketch of the thief. It came to me in a dream, see, my self conscience is working overtime. Like a sports team that just can't win.
Astrid: Um, Tuffnut, that's you.
Tuffnut: No it's not.
Fishlegs: Yes it is.
Tuffnut: No, it isn't. I think I'd know myself if I... Hmm... wrong picture.
The Eel Effect (transcript)
Bing! Bam! Boom! (transcript)