Snotlout Gets the Axe (transcript)
This is a transcript page for Snotlout Gets the Axe.


Snotlout: Coming in hot! Haha, that's right! Get some, Dragon Hunters, get some!

Snotlout, Snotlout, oi, oi, oi!

Ha! Aaaahhh!

(He lands at Ruff's and Tuff's feet)

Tuff: The judge from Berserker Island gave you a 6.

Hiccup: Uh, nice effort, Snotlout! We all need to stay sharp, especially with those Dragon Hunters on the loose.

Astrid, you're up!

Spitelout: You really should loosen your grip there, boi-oh. It maximizes the bone shattering potential.

Snotlout: Dad?

Hiccup: Spitelout! Eh, what a... what a pleasant surprise.

Spitelout: Eh, dull.

Snotlout: Haha, yeah, I was just telling them that, dad. Hey, did you see that.....

Spitelout: I come with news from Berk. There's to be a union tomorrow between two proud houses; our family, House Jorgensen, and...

Astrid: What kind of mutton head would marry into the Jorgensen's?

Spitelout:...Astrid's family, House Hofferson!

Astrid: ..Wait, did he just say... House Hofferson??

Fishlegs: That is unprecedented. There has never been a union between these two families! Hoffersons have always disliked Jorgensens, and..

Astrid: Jorgensens have always irritated Hoffersons. ..Wait, this means Snotlout's gonna be... family??

Snotlout: What's the problem, cuz? This is just going to bring us closer!

(Astrid elbows Snotlout)

Spitelout: Welcome to the family, lass. Now, onto business!

(Spitelout unwraps an axe)

Snotlout: Woah! The Jorgensen family ceremonial axe! There's never been a union without it!

Spitelout: Aye, and as you know, it will need to be present tomorrow at Berk's secret matrimonial site; the Isle of Frigga; to chop down the ceremonial birch for this union to be official, so you, Snotlout, will be delivering it!

Snotlout: Sweet!

Hiccup: That's quite an honor, Snotlout!

Snotlout: This privilege is only given to the bravest and most veril member of the Jorgensen clan. And you guys are looking at him!

Boom, baby!! Whooo!!

Spitelout: I would have done it myself if I want already responsible for procuring the beasts for the union's ceremonial 400 bore feast.

Snotlout: But I'm the family's natural second choice for the job.

Spitelout: Of course Hedgelout isn't available. He's still missing at sea...

Snotlout: Third choice. That's still good. Right?

Spitelout: Ah, and then there was Griplout..

Astrid: Griplout?

Hiccup: Are you talking about the Jorgensen that lost both his arms in that freak mutton accident?

Spitelout: Aye, he just couldn't get a good enough hold on the axe with his teeth.

Remember, a lot is riding on this, boi-oh. No axe, no wedding. No wedding, well, hopefully you're smart enough to at least figure that out.

Well, I have to be in my way. Bores don't grow on trees, you know. 

Astrid: Thank Thor I don't have to go to that ridiculous..

Spitelout: Oh, lass, your folks are expecting you to represent your family at the ceremony. So better get a move on!

(Astrid growls, Hiccup laughs)

Sputelout: You too, Hiccup!

Hiccup: What? Me?!

Spitelout: Aye, Stoick's orders. You're representing the Haddocks!

(Toothless growls)

Hiccup: Yeah, tell me about it.

Spitelout: See you at the ceremony! Onward, dragon! Spitelout, Spitelout, oi, oi, oi!

Snotlout: Don't worry, dad! I got this!

(Astrid, Hiccup, and Toothless glare at Snotlout)

Snotlout: What are you all looking at? I can do this!

(Snotlout accidentally flings the axe to the other side of the arena)


Fishlegs: Don't you just love union ceremonies?

Tuff: Don't know, never been to one.

Fishlegs: What? Really?

Tuff: Yeah, we Thorstons aren't really the marrying kind. We're more of the mutton kind.

Fishlegs: Well, as luck would have it, I'm somewhat of a authority on Viking union ceremonies. What d'ya say you both meet me at my hut later and I will teach you every thing you need to know.

Tuff: Great! Because we know very little about most things.

Fishlegs: Ehh..

(Scene cuts to Snotlout, Hiccup, Astrid, and their dragons flying over the clouds)

Snotlout: Last one picked. He could have had more faith in me than that.

(Hiccup and Astrid glare at him)

What? What did I ever do?

Astrid: Well, there was the time you brought all those Changewing eggs, and nearly destroyed the village.

Snotlout: Fishlegs' fault.

Astrid: There was the time you released the Skrill from its ice block..

Hiccup: ..And nearly destroyed the village!

Snotlout: Twins' fault.

Hiccup: What about flying is into a waterspout and crash landing us on Outcast Island, that was terrific.

Snotlout: Act of Thor.

Astrid: Act of Snotlout!

Snotlout: All I know is when I ride in with this axe, I'm gonna shove it in all their Jorgensen faces. Wooo! (Impersonating Spitelout) No axe, no wedding, boi-o..

(Snotlout drops the axe)

Oh oh oh Aaaaahh!

Hiccup: Toothless! Power dive!

(The other dragons dive with him)

Snotlout: I don't see it!

(they come out of the clouds and see an island)

It's gotta be down there! We have to go and get it back!

Astrid: It could be anywhere! That island isn't exactly tiny, if it even landed there and not in the ocean.

Snotlout: We're finding that axe. We have 'till sundown.

(Scene cuts to Hiccup, Astrid and Snotlout hacking their way through thick brush)

Hiccup: Whoo..

Astrid: Ack, hey, is it too late to call Griplout?

Snotlout: Hoho, that's funny! Keep it up, Astrid! Keep it up!

Hiccup: Hm..

Snotlout: Huh?

(Sees the axe above a hedge)

Haha, there it is! See? I'll just grab it and we can get back in the air. Problem solved!

(the dragons all growl nervously)

Hiccup: What is it, Bud?

Astrid: What's gotten into them?

Snotlout: And it's in one piece? This could have gone way worse. (Tries to pull it out) It's really stuck in there. (The earth trembles) Huh..

Hiccup: Snotlout!

(Snotlout is thrown to the ground, and a dragon appears, the axe securely attached to its back)

Snotlout: Oh no... Ok, now it's way worse!

(The dragon roars)

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