Hiccup: Follow me! Low-level evasive maneuvers! Come on, bud!
Hiccup (v.o.): When you're riding a dragon, communication is key. You almost have to read each other's minds. Or else.
Snotlout: Hey! What are you doing?! Are you trying to kill me?! We gotta go back! I think you missed a branch! Got it!
Hiccup (v.o.): And you have to have an open mind, because sometimes, your dragon knows better than you.
Snotlout: Almost died? I would've died!
Astrid: That's a good look for you.
Hiccup: Has anyone seen Fishlegs?
Ruffnut: I saw him yesterday. Does that count?
Hiccup: Oh, there you are, Fishlegs. Are you okay?
Fishlegs: I'm fine. Just hanging out. It's not like I crashed or anything. Okay, I crashed. There, I said it.
Fishlegs: And there goes my dignity.
Hiccup: Yeah, you're pretty stuck. I think I know how to get you down, but you have to stay perfectly still.
Fishlegs: Why? What are you going to do?
Hiccup: Careful, bud, he's not wearing any pants.
Fishlegs: Huh? Wait a second, what does my lack of pants have to do-- OH! Thank you. Um, I believe those are mine.
Hiccup: Now, what are we going to do about Meat... Lug?
Fishlegs: Can you not tell the others Meatlug broke the trees? She's sensitive about her weight.
Hiccup: How did this happen?
Fishlegs: I don't know! I was just flying along, taking notes on the flora and fauna... typical guy stuff. And something weird jumped out of the bushes. It was like a... flaming squirrel.
Hiccup: Really? A flaming squirrel?
Fishlegs: Or a chipmunk. Or some other flammable rodent. I don't know Hiccup, it scared us. Isn't that enough for you?
Hiccup: Did you hear that? A flaming squirrel. Everyone know there's no such thing as a-- FLAMING SQUIRREL! Whoa! You saw that, right? Hey, little guy. Who are you? Whoa, settle down, big fella! I've never seen anything like him. You're not helping. You know, I think we may have discovered a new species here! Whoa, hey, Toothless! What has gotten into you? Looks like he's hurt! Don't be afraid, I'm a friend. Here. It's okay. It's just a little dragon nip. Come on, play nice. AHH! Little dragon, big claws! Come on, let's go. We'll fix you right up.
Fishlegs: This is so exciting! It's a whole new species!
Tuffnut: Doesn't look like a flaming squirrel to me.
Fishlegs: We have no idea what it's capable of! There's no telling what it might do.
Tuffnut: Flame! Do it! AH! Get it off, get it off, get it off! Oh, that is funny.
Hiccup: Come on, you guys, this is serious! We have to figure out what to do with him. He's hurt!
Tuffnut: He's hurt?
Hiccup: He's just really scared. He'll settle down.
Fishlegs: Um, new species, remember? We actually don't know what he'll do.
Astrid: Well, somebody's got to take him home.
Hiccup: Well, big guy, here's your somebody.
Stoick: No, no, no! He's not staying here. I've got a one-dragon limit!
Hiccup: Oh, come on! He's not a very big dragon! Think of him more like... a flaming squirrel.
Stoick: Don't want one of those either. Toothless, what are you waiting for? Ah, looks like you torched. Oh, that's his name, by the way. Torch.
Hiccup: So, he can stay?
Stoick: Well, can't throw him out now! I just named him!
Hiccup: Okay, a hundred for you, and one for you. There you go, boys, your first supper together. Whoa, Toothless! You're sure hungry tonight, aren't you, bud? Okay, Torch. This is where you're gonna sleep. Aw, look at that. He's made himself at home. Toothless, you don't mind sharing your bed for the night, do you? Hope he sleeps through the night. He hardly ate. And you? Go to sleep. Alright, Torch. Let's figure out what you are.
Fishlegs: Oh! This is so exciting! Documenting a whole new species... learning all about it!
Tuffnut: Wait, learning?
Ruffnut: No thanks.
Hiccup: There's nothing in the Book of Dragons that looks anything like him.
Fishlegs: We even get to determine what it's called. Heh. That is... that is a really big responsibility. I don't know if I'm ready for that.
Snotlout: I am! I'm gonna name the snot out of it!
Astrid: Twenty inches for the wings.
Hiccup: That's a big wingspan.
Snotlout: Big Wing! Big Span! Big-Wing-Span!
Fishlegs: May I have the honor of administering the claw-test? Look at these talons... They're razor-like.
Snotlout: Sharp-Claw! Razor-Feet! Razor-Sharp-Claw-Talon-Feet!
Tuffnut: Hold on. Is he serious?
Fishlegs: You know what's next, don't you?
Hiccup: No. Not really.
Fishlegs: Only the single most important test to determine a dragon's reaction to eels... The Eel-Reaction-Test! He ate it! He ate the eel!
Snotlout: Eel Eater! Come on, that's perfect.
Hiccup: Fishlegs, has there ever been a Dragon who wasn't afraid of--
Fishlegs: Never in recorded history. We're in uncharted waters, my friend.
Hiccup: You hear that, Torch? You're one of a kind.
Fishlegs: Now we need to get him to fly.
Hiccup: Maybe if Torch saw Toothless fly? Toothless! Let's take a ride, bud! Toothless!
Snotlout: Ha, ha, ha! So much for the dragon trainer. We've got this! Watch and learn! HOOOOKFANG! Okay, your turn. Don't think you have to live up to that.
Ruffnut: What's he doing?
Astrid: I think something's wrong.
Tuffnut: Aw man, we broke him!
Hiccup: Maybe he can't fly. You... are one incredible little dragon!
Ruffnut: Whoa... Look at that burn mark!
Tuffnut: Look at this burn mark.
Fishlegs: Did you see how he flew? He spun like... like a typhoon!
Astrid: And he came back just like a boomerang!
Snotlout: Hot-Spinner! Flaming-Combacker!
Fishlegs: No... Typhoomerang.
Snotlout: Typhoomerang...? Nah, I don't get it.
Hiccup: Okay, Torch. Hold still. I'm trying to draw you. You're getting your own chapter. Gerr... Rarr, rarr! Rarr! Toothless! Look what you did! And now I've got to get more charcoal. Toothless, you behave yourself while I'm gone. Hey, it's okay, big guy. I'll be right back. Toothless! Wh-what is going on here? Toothless, why did you do this? What is wrong with you? Toothless! Wait! It's okay, big guy. He's starting to worry me too. It's weird. It's like, Toothless is jealous. Which is great. So... my first girlfriend is a dragon.
Gobber: Another thing we have in common. Something must be going on under the surface. Dragons are complex creatures, Hiccup. They operate on many emotional levels. Me? I've only got the one.
Hiccup: Whoa! Okay, Toothless! You see? This is what I've been talking about. Toothless, settle down! Gobber! Grab him!
Gobber: You want to dance, big boy? 'Cause I've got my dancing shoe on! Gotcha! Whoa! My panpipes! Now I can get the band back together!
Hiccup: Toothless! BACK! DOWN! Not. Helping.
Hiccup: I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it.
Hiccup: Whoa! WHOA! Toothless! The cove... is this way! Where are you going?! No! You're going to the cove! Okay. You've gotta stay here. I never thought bringing Torch home would lead to this. I've gotta separate you two until I can figure this out. Toothless... This is serious. You've got to stay here. Okay. A crazy, out-of-control dragon, blocking my way out. Or not!
Astrid: You did the right thing with Toothless. He'll snap out of it.
Snotlout: Ya, but what if he doesn't. Then you won't have a dragon to ride, and if you don't have a Dragon to ride then you can't be the leader of the Dragon Academy! HA!
Astrid: Yeah, then I'd take over. Do you really want that?
Tuffnut: You guys would not believe what we just saw.
Snotlout: Excuse me, we're having a power struggle.
Hiccup: We're not having a power struggle.
Tuffnut: The whole forest; ultimate destruction.
Ruffnut: It was beautiful. The whole thing was torched.
Hiccup: Torched? Show me.
Ruffnut: Like we said; ultimate destruction.
Hiccup: We've seen that burn mark before.
Astrid: Not this big.
Fishlegs: You know what this means. Big burn mark--
Hiccup: Big Typhoomerang.
Tuffnut: He looks really mad.
Hiccup: Uh, it's not a he, it's a she. That's Torch's mother.
Astrid: Torch is a baby.
Hiccup: That's what Toothless was trying to tell me.
Fishlegs: Whoever gets between that mother and this baby is gonna get fried!
Tuffnut: You take it!
Ruffnut: I don't want it!
Snotlout: Just leave it, and let's get out of here.
Hiccup: Uh-oh. Now, uh, go home to your Mama. RUN! You guys go that way, I'll lead her back into the forest away from the village.
Hiccup: Oh, please stop following me! TOOTHLESS! Thanks, bud. I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you. Toothless, evasive maneuvers! Oh, why won't she stop? What the--? Torch?! What are you doing?! You need to be with your mother! Toothless, we have to try something else. We'll use her size against her! Toothless, up! Now! Dive! I hope she's okay. Good job, bud. Everybody's back where they belong. Goodbye, Torch. Let's go home, Toothless.
Gobber: Ah. I wrote this just for the occasion.
Hiccup: I should have known you were just trying to protect me. That's what you do. And then you do that.
Hiccup (v.o.): Communication between dragon and rider goes both ways. Not only must the Dragon follow the Rider's lead, but the Rider must listen to the dragon as well. Because sometimes, what the dragon is trying to say is what you really need to hear.
Animal House (transcript)
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