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Twinsanity (transcript)

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Twinsanity (transcript)
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This is a transcript page for Twinsanity.


Transcript

Hiccup (v.o.)
They say two heads are better than one; which is often true, but four heads? Eh, that's a few heads too many.
Ruffnut
How are we supposed to see up here?
Hiccup
You're not. That's the whole point.
Tuffnut
Oh. No, I still don't get it.
Hiccup
When you two can't see, you have to trust Barf and Belch to see for you. Like this.
Tuffnut
Why does he always have to speak in RIDDLES?!
Ruffnut
I say we trust us.
Tuffnut
Yeah, I'm with you, sister!
Ruffnut
Barf, up!
Tuffnut
Belch, down!
Tuffnut
Belch, get me down!
Ruffnut
Barf, go for help!
Fishlegs
It worked! I can't believe it actually worked!
Fishlegs
Whoa!
Hiccup
What was that hand thing you were doing?
Fishlegs
If you must know, I have been crafting some rudimentary hand signals for Meatlug just in case we get separated, and they seem to have been well-received.
Hiccup
Hmm. Hand signals. That's incredible, Fishlegs!
Fishlegs
Yeah, I know!
Hiccup
We need to start working on those right away.
Hiccup
Toothless, battle ready!
Hiccup
Toothless, plasma blast!
Hiccup
Good job, bud! Smile.
Astrid
Not bad. Stormfly, spine shot! Well, that's better than last time.
Snotlout
Hookfang, annihilate! Whoa!
Tuffnut
Bull's-eye.
Fishlegs
Meatlug, hug!
Hiccup
Hmm, that could actually be useful. Ruff, Tuff, your turn.
Ruffnut
Barf, go.
Tuffnut
Belch, come.
Ruffnut
Barf, sky.
Tuffnut
Belch, ground.
Tuffnut
Ha-ha! I win!
Ruffnut
What do you think you're doing to my dragon?
Tuffnut
Your dragon? Puh-lease. You've been breathing in Barf's gas again.
Ruffnut
Yeah, so?!
Hiccup
Guys, guys. Barf and Belch is one dragon. You have to use one signal at a time.
Ruffnut
Good idea. Barf, attack Tuffnut! Ha! How's that?
Fishlegs
I don't think it's what Hiccup--
Tuffnut
Belch, eat Ruffnut!
Ruffnut
Uh, ow!
Hiccup
Tuff, come on.
Tuffnut
Whatever. Belch, drop Ruffnut.
Ruffnut
I can't work like this.
Tuffnut
Ugh, it's completely unprofessional.
Ruffnut
I'm taking my dragon and going home.
Tuffnut
You touch that dragon, and I'll--
Ruffnut
You'll what?
Tuffnut
I... I don't know. Don't rush me. Just, uh... uh, I'll tell you tomorrow!
Ruffnut
Ugh, come on, Barf.
Hiccup
Guys, come on. Stop, please. Leave the dragon out of it; it's over.
Ruffnut
Oh, it's over.
Tuffnut
Yeah, it's so over it's under!
Astrid
What was that all about?
Hiccup
Eh, they'll be back.
Gobber
Argh, suck in your gut, Stoick.
Stoick
It's sucked, Gobber! It doesn't suck anymore than this!
Hiccup
Ah, the ceremonial belt. Is it that time again?
Stoick
Yep, tomorrow's the annual treaty signing with the Berserker tribe.
Gobber
They've gotta change that name. When your Chief's Oswald the Agreeable, and you haven't been to war in fifty years.
Hiccup
Oh, please tell me he's not bring that lunatic kid of his?
Gobber
Dagur? Oh, he'll be here.
Hiccup
Oh, great, and let me guess: I get to keep him from breaking things.
Stoick
Actually, no. I have a more important job for you. You get to hide all the dragons.
Hiccup
From Oswald the Agreeable? Why?
Stoick
Hiccup, just because we've have had peace with them for fifty years doesn't mean they still can't go, well--
Gobber
Berserk?
Stoick
Exactly. The dragons could be seen as a sign of aggression. Better blissful than bloody I always say.
Gobber
And the last thing we want is another Berserker skirmish. They tend to play for keeps.
Stoick
Just hide the dragons, son.
Snotlout
Back in line! Back in line! Everybody, in line, in line! Is Dagur coming? He's so cool!
Hiccup
Cool? Last time he was here, he used me for a knife throwing target.
Astrid
That guy should be locked up in a cage.
Fishlegs
That's what he did to me! He wouldn't let me eat for three days!
Snotlout
Then he force fed you rotten cod heads!
Fishlegs
Thanks. I almost erased that from my memory.
Astrid
Look out! Incoming Zippleback!
Hiccup
Where's Ruffnut and Tuffnut? Someone get that Dragon.
Snotlout
I'm on it!
Hiccup
Snotlout, you need two riders. Fishlegs, get in there.
Fishlegs
Heh, I'm not sure this is really the best-- Whoa! I don't feel so good.
Hiccup
It's the gas. Just try not to breath any in.
Fishlegs
Yeah, that ship has sailed.
Snotlout
Whoa! Hey! Somebody tell me how to work this thing.
Hiccup
Whatever you do Snotlout, don't spark!
Fishlegs
Okay. Now I feel worse.
Snotlout
Then if I were you, I would not think of that rotten cod head sliding down your throat.
Snotlout
Oh! That is disgusting!
Hiccup
Wait here. I need to find the twins to get that Zippleback under control before the Berserkers-
Astrid
Are here.
Hiccup
Great. Just great.
Hiccup
Hey, Dad, there's something--
Stoick
Not now, son. Oswald is here.
Berserker
Presenting the high Chief of he Berserker tribe, cracker of skulls, slayer of beasts, the great and fearsome...
Gobber
Oswald the Agreeable?
Berserker
Dagur the Deranged!

[The Berserker steps out of the way for Dagur. Dagur spits and chuckles with an evil smirk.]

Stoick
Dagur?
Gobber
Deranged?
Hiccup
Oh, no.

[Dagur throws a knife towards Hiccup. Hiccup ducks, barely missing the knife.]

Hiccup
Oh, perfect.
Stoick
Dagur, where's your father?
Dagur
My father has been... retired. He lost his taste for blood. I, on the other hand, am starving. So, where are you hiding them, Stoick?
Stoick
Hiding what, Dagur?
Dagur
Do I look stupid to you?
Gobber
Trick question, don't answer it.
Dagur
We both know what's going on here. I have it on excellent authority that you're amassing an army of dragons.
Stoick
Excellent authority? And who would that be, Dagur?
Dagur
Never mind. Just know that if I find it to be true, then my armada will attack with the force of fifty thousand brave Berserker soldiers.
Stoick
Stand down, Dagur. There won't be any need for the armada. Now lets get to the treaty.
Dagur
Yes, let's. According to the treaty, my visit starts with a tour of Berk, the armory, the feast in the Great Hall, the killing arena-- you do still kill dragons here, hmm?
Stoick
Your father never found the tour necessary.
Dagur
As you can see, I'm not my father. Am I?
Gobber
Not in front of the armada.
Hiccup
Oh, this is bad, this is bad. This is really bad. I have to find that Zippleback!
Astrid
Hiccup, we have a problem.
Hiccup
Oh, yeah, you're telling me? Dagur's the new Berserker Chief!
Astrid
What?!
Hiccup
Yeah, his father "retired"! And he thinks we're hiding dragons.
Astrid
Well, we kind of are. Which brings us to our next problem.
Hiccup
Huh, Barf? Belch? Here?
Gobber
And we're walking, walking. Here we have our food storage. It's where we... well...
Dagur
Oh, oh, oh, let me guess! Store your food.
Gobber
No wonder they made him chief.
Hiccup
Barf, Belch, come back here!
Dagur
Bo-ring! I want to see the dragon-killing things!
Stoick
Follow me.
Astrid
Where did it go?
Hiccup
I have no idea. You keep looking, and I'll go warn my dad.
Dagur
Oh, you want some of this, Gronckle? How ‘bout you, Nadder? Hyah! That's right plead, plead for your pathetic dragon life!
Gobber
He's really got a handle on that whole "deranged" thing.
Stoick
I'm about to make him eat this sword!
Gobber
Why don't we see to signing that treaty now?
Dagur
Sounds like my father. "Sign the treaty, Dagur." "Leave that chicken alone, Dagur!" "Put down that axe, Dagur!"
Stoick
Your father is a great man! And I'll not have you disrespect him!
Dagur
My father was a coward. I intend to return the Berserkers to their former glory. Something he was incapable of doing.
Stoick
Zippleback!
Dagur
I knew it! Where is it? Ooh, let me kill it, let me kill it!
Gobber
He's joking, Dagur! That Stoick, always the prankster. Tell me, Dagur, what are some of your deranged plans for the Berserker tribe?
Hiccup
Barf? Belch? Guys you can't be here! Oh, come on, what did they do? Okay, think like Ruffnut and Tuffnut. I can't believe I just said that. Barf, Belch, sky!
Dagur
Nice weapons, very clean, no blood stains, pity. Ah, Hiccup, there you are.
Hiccup
Dagur! I was just thinking about you! Hey, remember that time we went swimming, and you tried to drown me?
Dagur
Hohohohohohoheheheheha. Oh, the laughs we had. Bored again! Just a moment. Something is going on here.
Hiccup
I can explain.
Dagur
Where is it?
Hiccup
Look it’s just one drag--
Dagur
Your leg. Never mind. I heard all about it.
Hiccup
You heard all about what?
Dagur
You. The Red Death. Defeated it all on your own.
Hiccup
What? Me? Look at me. How is that even possible?
Dagur
Right? That's what I thought, too, but then I heard about the trained dragons, and that got me, well, kind of tingly.
Hiccup
Trained dragons? I do-- I don't even-- How would you train a dragon?
Dagur
I don’t know. How would you?
Hiccup
Alright, then. Whose hungry?
Stoick
It’s this way Dagur.
Hiccup
Oh, boy, am I hungry.
Stoick
I said, this way, Dagur! Get that dragon out of here.
Hiccup
We need the twins.
Tuffnut
What are you guys doing here?
Hiccup
Hey, Tuffnut, feel like talking?
Astrid
Um, can you come down?
Tuffnut
Whatever. Whoa. Yeah, I love that part.
Hiccup
Look, about Barf and Belch, we need you and Ruffnut to get your dragon under control.
Tuffnut
Uh-uh. No. No, thank you. I am officially out of the dragon business, and the sister business, and the dragon and sister business: The "dristisderness".
Astrid
What’s going on with you two.
Tuffnut
Simple. You know what this is?
Hiccup
Uh, a spoon?
Tuffnut
No it’s our spoon. Just like this is our dish, and our axe, and our well-groomed stuff yak. Everything is ours. I’m sick of ours. Just once I want something to be just mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack up my half of the yak.
Hiccup
Go? Where?
Tuffnut
I don't know. To my dark, soggy, alone place. Not to cry. This house, it has too many memories.
Hiccup
Tuff!
Astrid
Dark, soggy, alone place?
Hiccup
Yeah, I really don't want to know.
Stoick
Did you get that Zippleback under control?
Hiccup
We're working on it.
Dagur
A toast! To death in battle!
Gobber
To your father! To Oswald!
Dagur
Fine, whatever! "To Oswald! To Oswald! To Oswald!" Bladady, Bladady, Blah! Ugh!
Gobber
Well, on that cheery note, shall we sign the treaty and send you on your way?
Dagur
Great idea! Let's sign that treaty. Bring us the dragon's blood!
Hiccup
Uh, did you say dragon's blood?
Stoick
Heh, heh. Don’t be ridiculous, Dagur. Your father and I haven’t signed the treaty in dragon's blood for years.
Dagur
Why would that be a problem, Stoick? Unless, of course, you don't kill dragons anymore.
Stoick
We still kill dragons.
Gobber
The problem is, we've killed so many, there isn't a dragon within two hundred miles-- Except that one.
Dagur
The Zippleback! It's a sign. A head for each Chief! It’s going to be amazing! Tonight, we hunt dragon!
Berserkers
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Stoick
You need to find that Zippleback before he does.
Astrid
Hiccup, you heard Tuffnut. He went to his dark, soggy, alone place. That could be anywhere.
Snotlout
Not really! That could only be one place. What?
Hiccup
Why didn't you say something?!
Snotlout
Why didn't you ask?
Astrid
Snotlout, we've been looking for them all day!
Snotlout
And?
Astrid
And if you don’t right now, I’m gonna throw you off that dragon!
Snotlout
No need to get violent. He's probably at the lost cavern. They used to play hide and go kill there when they were kids.
Hiccup
Astrid, you and Snotlout take the South entrance of the cavern. Fishlegs and I will take the North.
Astrid
Let's go. Ugh.
Hiccup
Alright, bud, do your thing. Search.
Snotlout
Pretty dark in here. If you need to hold my hand, Astrid, it's okay.
Astrid
Sure, Snotlout.
Snotlout
Ooh. Soft as I thought it would be... EWW!
Hiccup
Tuffnut?
Tuffnut
Oh, you guys again. Would you quit following me?!
Astrid
Ruffnut?
Ruffnut
Would you quit following me?!
Hiccup
Did you guys hear that?
Snotlout
Duh. It's called an echo.
Hiccup
Toothless, plasma blast!
Tuffnut
What are you doing in my soggy place?!
Ruffnut
This is my soggy place! And I’m not sharing it with you!
Hiccup
Okay, listen, please. We need to get you guys to your dragon. It’s important.
Astrid
Barf and Belch are in real trouble.
Tuffnut
I'll go! But not with her.
Ruffnut
I'm not going anywhere with her either!
Tuffnut
Yeah! Wait, what?
Hiccup
No, you don’t understand. You both have to go! Guys, listen. Like it or not, your connected to each other, and the two of you are connected to that dragon. Just like me with Toothless.
Astrid
And me with Stormfly.
Fishlegs
Us, too.
Hiccup
We can get you another spoon, another dish, another stuffed yak. What we can't get you is another Barf and Belch.
Tuffnut
Eh...
Hiccup
Do you think they got any of that?
Tuffnut
Fine. You know, I did spit a little more in my hand.
Astrid
They got it.
Hiccup
Okay, let's go. We're out of time.
Tuffnut
So why is this so important, anyway?
Snotlout
The Berserkers are hunting down your dragon to use its blood for ink. What? Is that not what’s happening?
Hiccup
There they are! We gotta to get you guys down there.
Tuffnut
NOOOO! What are we doing here?! We have to get our dragon!
Hiccup
We can't afford to be spotted by the Berserkers.
Dagur
Hyah! How... dare... you?
Stoick
How dare you? We're supposed to slay this dragon together, and that's what we'll do, in the arena, where dragon killing is done.
Dagur
To the arena!
Tuffnut
The Chief’s not gonna let them kill our dragon...
Ruffnut and Tuffnut
Is he?
Hiccup
He won't have a choice unless we can figure out a plan.
Snotlout
I have a plan. One word: ANNIHILATE! Unh! Hookfang!
Astrid
Or not.
Hiccup
Actually, that could work!
Gobber
According to the treaty, the killing of the dragon-- must be--
Dagur
Bored! I want the head on the right.
Stoick
I’m putting a stop to this. If it means war, it means war.
Hiccup
HELP! DRAGON ATTACK!
Astrid
The Dragons are attacking! Run for your lives! We gotta get out of here!
Gobber
What is going on?
Stoick
Gobber, dragon attack.
Gobber
Oh. Dragon attack! Everyone out of here! We must protect our honored guests.
Dagur
Run if you want, but Dagur the Deranged will not retreat!
Ruffnut
Barf, gas.
Tuffnut
Belch, spark.
Dagur
Whoa! A Night Fury! They do exist!
Hiccup
Back, you... fiend, you! You’ll not harm my friend Dagur. Please, Dagur, save yourself. You owe it to your people!
Dagur
Berserkers, to the boats!
Gobber
What about the treaty?
Dagur
Consider it signed!
Stoick
Well done, Hiccup. I doubt we'll be seeing much more of Dagur the Deranged.
Hiccup
Lets hope not.
Hiccup (v.o.)
I used to think four heads was a little crazy, and I wasn't wrong.
Snotlout
I still think Dagur's pretty cool!
Hiccup (v.o.)
But I'll take crazy over berserk any day of the week.


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